My Thick Accent

Blending Tradition and Ambition: The Immigrant Blueprint | Ft. Dhara Majmundar Ep. 063

Gurasis Singh Season 2 Episode 63

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How do you balance personal ambition against the backdrop of familial ties and cultural roots? Join us as Dhara Majmundar, a trailblazer in talent acquisition, takes us on her inspiring journey from the vibrant arts scene in India to a successful career in recruitment in Canada. Dhara's story is one of determination and adaptability, marked by her reflections on health-conscious living, the motivational power of "Chakde India," and a nostalgic connection to her Gujarati heritage.

In this episode, Dhara navigates the emotional landscapes of immigrant life, sharing poignant insights into the challenges of moving from India to North America. Her personal anecdotes reveal the emotional and financial hurdles she overcame, fueled by her family's dreams and her own aspirations. Dhara also offers a candid exploration of the contrasting mindsets between developed and developing countries, highlighting how embracing a progressive outlook can lead to personal and professional growth.

For those embarking on their own immigrant journey, Dhara provides invaluable strategies for success. From the importance of networking and securing internships to the nuances of Canadian culture, her story is a blueprint for navigating both the complexities of assimilation and the pursuit of permanent residency in Canada. Through humor and heartfelt stories, we celebrate the multicultural essence of Canada, the joy of forming meaningful connections, and the wisdom gained from embracing both Eastern and Western perspectives.

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Gurasis:

So if you are a regular listener of My Thick Accent, you know that we break stereotypes here and celebrate the diverse journeys of immigrants. And today I'm excited to introduce someone who is a trailblazer in the world of talent, accusation and career development. Despite her unconventional path, she has made a remarkable impact, challenging perceptions and embracing variety roles over her decade-long career in Canada. With two bachelor's degrees, one in performing arts and the other in computer applications, she defied expectations to carve out a successful career in recruitment. Join us as we explore her journey from navigating life in a new country to challenging stereotypes associated with her appearance. She will share insights on understanding personal value and seizing opportunities, offering inspiration to listeners embarking on their own immigrant journeys. Get ready for an engaging conversation that celebrates resilience, growth and the pursuit of passion. Please welcome Dhara Majmundar.

Dhara:

Thank you, Gurasis.

Gurasis:

welcome dhara majmundar thank you, thank you. Thank you, dhara, for joining us today. I think I am actually recording. After almost five months, I feel like I'm doing it all over again, so I'm really excited for this uh conversation.

Dhara:

Yeah same here.

Gurasis:

I'm also quite excited to be here and thank you for having me on your podcast absolutely so that I know, on my this season, season two, I'm trying to turn up the fun factor a little bit, so I'll start by asking you some fun questions, okay? So my first question is what's your go-to breakfast?

Dhara:

wow um TEPLA okay I'm not sure if listeners are gujarati. If you are aware, that's what I like to have in my breakfast. I try to make sure that I prepare the bloods beforehand during the weekend so that whenever I'm working I have my things ready.

Gurasis:

So it's like an everyday thing you do that.

Dhara:

As much as I can.

Gurasis:

yes, Okay, okay. And I also read somewhere that you are 85% vegan and 15% vegetarian. Tell me the story behind that. What's that?

Dhara:

become very conscious about diet and lifestyle and I learned that lots of illness comes from wrong diet. And since then I really wanted to become vegan. I did adopt a lot of organic stuff, but I couldn't be completely vegan. During pandemic. I actually got a chance to. During the pandemic. I actually got a chance to experiment with various recipes. I was. I do go out, I do meet other people, even company outings. You know, I don't want to become a burden because I'm a vegetarian and that's already a problem for so many. They have to change venues and menus just to accommodate me. So that's why I decided that whatever is under my control which is almost 85% of diet, so I keep it vegan, but when I go out I stay vegetarian. So, um, I try not to trouble others but try to pay my bit as much as possible I love that.

Gurasis:

You know, I think I don't think you usually come across these kind of vegans, you know, who are again, like you, have the 15 margin in their diets, because usually people are extremely strict. Right, I have to have a certain kind of milk, the organic stuff, the vegan stuff, no cheese. So I think I have had. I think I had some friends like back in the day when I was, uh, you know, studying. I think they guys were very particular and I remember switching restaurants and switching drinks and places. I think sometimes I couldn't even invite them to my house because you know how the Indian food sometimes does involve the dairy products in it. So, yeah, so I'm really glad that you are not that particular about things but still obviously making sure that you eat healthy and, you know, take care of yourself. So, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, all right. So my second question is tell us about, like, a favorite song or a dialogue or a movie that you really love, and tell us like why it's significant to you song.

Dhara:

I would say that's kind of my song. I try to remember it whenever I feel low and whenever I want to motivate myself. In terms of movie, well, there are quite a few, but I think since I have seen Chakde India with Charu Khan and Girls Team, since that day it has become my one of the most favorite, because I do carry the whole emotions of all the girls that were in the team, especially during the scene when you know all the girls get together, they become a team, finally become a team, forget their own differences and then beat all those guys.

Gurasis:

I wish I could do that in my real life yeah, no, it is indeed an amazing movie and I think, I think most of the indians do have that emotion attached to the movie and, uh, yeah, it's an incredible movie. You know you must watch it. If you haven't, you you know for sure. All right, so my next question is that if you had to teach, like one phrase or something in your mother tongue to us, what would it be and what does it mean?

Dhara:

Oh, that's a tough one. In my mother tongue I would say jawade.

Gurasis:

Jawade okay.

Dhara:

What does it mean? Let it go, that's okay. Okay okay so be it.

Gurasis:

So so be it I like that.

Dhara:

That's how you say it okay, yeah, interesting.

Gurasis:

And lastly, if you could teleport back to a particular place from your home country or anywhere for a day, what would it, what would you do and where would you go?

Dhara:

well, I will go to um. It is in my home country where um I born and brought. I born uh in walsad, gujarat, which is my mother's um uh place, where my mother's parents live, and during all my vacations we used to go to walsad, and Walsad has a beach which is called Tithal. So much in my childhood, so whenever I get a chance I'll like to visit that place again wow, that's, that's, that's beautiful, you know.

Gurasis:

And then again bringing in that manifestation, part of it, and now you live next to a water body. So that's amazing. But speaking of you know your time in Gujarat, let me take you back to the time you spent there. Tell us a little bit about your formative years and how was it like just growing up there?

Dhara:

Well, I must say that I've changed five to 10 schools. Till I was in third, till I was in fourth standard because my parents had to move my father's jobs. My mother was working as well and most of the times I was I was living with my grandparents. So I was very close to my mother's parents and my father's parents as well, actually till I was three years old. So when I was six or eight months old, my mother left me with my grandmother and then she came back to take me when I was three years old. I was not ready to even recognize her. I didn't want to go with her, but yeah, I was very close to my grandparents. During vacations I used to go to Walsart a lot. Mostly I after fourth standard.

Dhara:

I mostly born, I mostly brought up in Baroda, so that was there and it was a steady life. My schooling, my university, everything was there. And then I was working in Ahmedabad, which was like a nearby city from Baroda, for seven years. So I was in the same vicinity as such. But it was a hectic life. It was a hectic childhood in terms of.

Dhara:

My mother was very ambitious about me, so she used to push me not only to study but to take part in the extracurricular activities. So, um, I was always learning dance and taking part in the debate competitions and drama competitions and studying and exams. So I used to be that child who was kind of ahead in the game by all means. Very less friends, not much outgoing, but always living with family, my cousins. I had a younger brother, so I kind of took care of him like a child. As I was mentioned to you earlier, I was five years old, he was six months old, so I was the perfect elder sister for him. So my life was, quite looking back, I think my life was quite rich in the sense that we didn't have a lot of money or we didn't have a lot of resources, but we had a lot of people around, surrounded by family, surrounded by elders, surrounded by cousins Rich with love.

Dhara:

With love, right, yeah, so really, we had very little, maybe one toffee, and we used to, you know, share with brother and sister, but it was so much fun. Today we have so much, but I sometimes feel that we don't have to share those things with people around. So, um, yeah, yeah, I think, I think I'm um blessed.

Gurasis:

I had a good childhood um a lot of learning, um a lot of work and a lot of dreams to grow up and do something good yeah, and you know you also mentioned that, uh, changing schools, like five to ten schools, I mean, I don't think so. I have changed so many. I think I've changed maybe like two schools in my in my life and I think I was able to like at least uh, you know, have like a bunch of friends whom I can call like my school friends. So did you have any that sort of situation where, or did you like not have that situation because you were changing so many schools and not having enough friends because of that?

Dhara:

I didn't have many friends when I was living with my parents' house. I actually had friends near my grandparents' house. So I think that way I felt the stability because whenever I'm going there I had my friends intact. But near when I was with my parents I never had many friends. I didn't go out much, always in house, always studying, always with family.

Gurasis:

So it didn't actually occur to me as well, okay, and what was like the family dynamic, right, you know, was the focus more on like studies, get the job, or was it like maybe more, maybe your family was into business? How was that like?

Dhara:

yeah, study, work, get a job. My, my, my mother was kind of a strict mother. I always thought that you know why I have such a strict mother. Others' mothers are so loving and caring. But after I left my house and after I started working on my own, I realized that I'm able to manage my life all by myself. Just because I've been trained so well, just because I was not pampered. I had to do my things. I have to take care of my stuff on my own. So definitely there was always the pressure of you have to do good in whatever you do. So I was doing diploma in dance through from the university since I was in seventh standard.

Dhara:

I was studying and working together, studying and learning dance together since seventh. So seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh was my diploma in dance, along with school, along with other activities, and then even in the university I was doing two bachelors together, one in computer, one in dance.

Gurasis:

So I kind of never left riding on both horses together yeah, now you definitely award like a studious kid and I feel like the studies was definitely the focus of the family, because you end up doing like two bachelors you know one in performing arts, you know in classical dance, right, and the other one in computer application. So tell me, like, why did you decide to do like these two different, even though I believe you were inclined towards the dancing before and then you chose the computer applications? Why is that?

Dhara:

yeah. So, um, the same thing. Like I, I have been doing both the things very passionately and studiously, uh, since childhood. So I was not clear what exactly I want to do. Um, I had a list what I don't want to do, but I was not sure what I actually want to do. So that's why I really wanted to pursue both um, and then I wanted to see how I want to navigate my path and and uh.

Dhara:

But I really one thing was sure that I'll always keep both the elements together. It's just a matter of how I manage them. So maybe prioritize, how to prioritize them. But I really didn't want to lose out on any one of them. So that's why I studied and computers, I think when I was 12th pass out at that. That time computer was a quite a boom and I was quite fascinated about just hearing of you know what computer can do and what programming can do and how technologically things are being advanced. Um, and my dance teacher actually used to say that if you want to progress, um, if you want to see the progress in dance, you have to progress yourself, because you are the career of the dance.

Dhara:

Dance cannot progress on its own If you are not progressing dance cannot progress, so you have to be educated, you have to be ahead in the game, you have to have mindset. Then only dance will grow. So I really wanted to to pursue that and I wanted to be the right person who can practice the dance properly I love that.

Gurasis:

I know what your teacher said, that you have to grow within you know you have to grow within yourself for your knowledge about the subject, rather than just the dance or just the subject. I think this can be implied to anything that one do Like. If I take it in my case, I would say like my podcast cannot grow unless I don't teach myself how to grow it, you know. So I think I really love that. You know, I think definitely something a great takeaway you know that listeners can take from it. But I also want to, before I, you know, get into your transition into Canada, tell me something about the city of Baroda that people might not know about.

Dhara:

Well, city of Baroda. I also call it Sanskari Nagri, so I'm not sure if many people know about it, but it's a very cultured city and I'm not sure, if you're not Gujarati maybe you don't understand, but people who understand Gujarati language, they know that our language is very pure, very bookish or very technically correct, whereas you don't see the same purity of the language in other parts of the gujarat. So we are very cultured, very learned. You will see people very learned and more progressive than if you see people from other parts of the of gujarat. Um, amdabad is more like a business minded. You'll see people who are more business minded, but in baroda you see people who are more um believe in education and believe in more culture and value. So I think I I like that about my city and I really feel that I'm I'm fortunate to be able to, to be able to grow up there.

Gurasis:

Very, very interesting. I did not know that, so thank you for sharing that with me. So you know, you were also telling me, dara, that your mother actually told you that you should leave India and continue your life maybe somewhere abroad, and it was also because your brother is in the US. But why did you think your mother told you to do that?

Dhara:

So she was a very ambitious person and she couldn't pursue a lot of her dreams, and one of her dreams was to go abroad because her elder brother was there but for whatever family reason she couldn't do it. So I think she really, uh, trained me in a way that she, she, would see me doing things that you couldn't do. Um, I hated her for that, because I didn't want, because I had my own ideologies. You know, I never believe in going out.

Dhara:

I I used to feel that I'm, um, I'm being dishonest with my country if I go out, because my country has contributed in me. My country used resources, my teachers, it's my job to get trained and now serve my country when time comes. How can I just leave? How can I just go somewhere else? For me the whole idea was disaster, but I also didn't want to disappoint my family and I also wanted to grow, I also wanted to learn, and so I think my mother won the battle, kind of, and then I finally got convinced that, you know, if I go out, I'll be able to progress much better. And Canada somehow worked out socially, economically, you know.

Gurasis:

So how was the process for you? Was it like lengthy? Did it like happen quickly? How was it like?

Dhara:

It was actually one or two years process, so one year was kind of brainstorming to actually figure out, you know, how we are going to pay the fees. To tell you the truth, I'm coming from middle class family. We didn't have that kind of funding, but my brother was there so he had some saving. I had some saving and my father was going to retire, so he actually gave a big chunk of his retirement fund to me. And that's how we kind of manage and and, um, and then in one year we had those thought process and the next year I applied and I got the admission, um, and then, and then I came here yeah, you know it know it's fascinating.

Gurasis:

You know how people really put all their savings and everything they can to send people abroad, to send their children abroad, and I think this is something, this sort of emotion, I feel like only us immigrants can really understand. And even if you try to, you can't articulate to the, to the native people, and by by that I meant, like in terms of getting the jobs right, we don't get the desired jobs, we don't get the desired things you want to do, or how important it is for us to have that certain opportunity.

Dhara:

I did go through that experience. So before coming to Canada, I I went to US for six months and I was working there as an office assistant because I was studying as well, and one of you went for your PhD right. I went there for my PhD and one of my colleagues or she was a manager there. She was born and brought up in the US and one day she asked me that why did you come to the US?

Gurasis:

Why did?

Dhara:

you have to go through all these troubles and struggles and working so hard, I said at that time. I said, well, us is the land of opportunity.

Dhara:

And she said but don't you think that you have more opportunities back home Because US is an already developed country, whereas you are a developing country? So you have more opportunities back home because US is an already developed country, whereas you are a developing country, so you have more opportunities and you can contribute better in your country. At that time I didn't have answers, but I totally understand how they think and feel. But I'm pretty sure if they would have gone and brought up in a third world country, they would have done the same that we have done because there are good reasons. Today I can convince somebody if they ask me this question, but I totally agree with you that they don't get it because they have not gone through those struggles.

Gurasis:

Yeah, but if you really have to answer this question because sometimes this question is thrown at me also that you have, like this life in India, like I recently went to India, also visited my family, you know, I did a wedding and they saw a few pictures I said, oh, you have such amazing family and this and that that, why are you even planning or why are you even thinking of coming back to Canada?

Gurasis:

You know, and I honestly could not have the best answer to that. But to Canada, you know, and I I honestly could not have the best answer to that. But what I could say is I know my maybe my heart and my family might be in India, but I know that my growth is in Canada. I know that. So that's why I know that my professional growth, my personal growth, is in Canada and I can, I'd be able to do that only through the resources that Canada can provide me, not only limited to Canada. Maybe anywhere abroad can provide me, any foreign country can provide me, which I might not get in India. But how would you answer that, dara?

Dhara:

Yeah. So I've gone through a lot of debates with some of my friends and internal dialogues, but today I've come to a conclusion that it's all about mindset. So it's not that India doesn't have resources, it's not that India doesn't have opportunities, but India doesn't have the mindset a developed mindset that North American countries have.

Dhara:

So, I think I have come here, or I think everybody who knowingly or unknowingly come here, because they are seeking the different mindset Somewhere along the line. Our Indian mindset is conservative and is not allowing us to progress fully, totally, completely, as a human being, as a professional, as a society person that this country would allow you. So I think we have lots of mental blocks, we have lots of taboos. We are quite developed in one way, but we are still quite underdeveloped in many other ways in terms of mental development. So many people still have the mindset of 18th century.

Dhara:

I'm not saying that this is the ideal North America is the ideal world and we do not have those setbacks. We do. But the overall framework does support the advancement, the progressive mindset, whereas our society doesn't much allow that. You have to be literally a rebellion if you actually want to do something going against the society, which is very easy here because it's part of it. So I think that's the reason why we all get attracted and then we all find out different reasons, but I think that's the core idea behind it.

Gurasis:

Absolutely, I totally agree with you. But at the same time, I'll say to each to their own. You know, whatever works for you, whatever country works for you, whatever place, city, works for you, please go ahead and continue with that. Moving on to your journey, you know, tell me about your first day in Canada and I think you told me you came in 2014, right, but tell me about your first day when you landed. How was that like, or what were like your initial thoughts or emotions?

Dhara:

Yeah, well, I was excited and I was not afraid or worried per se, because I already been to US once. So I think that was the first time when I actually went out of my country, and that time I was quite afraid, I was worried, I was very conscious, even on the airport. I was so conscious that one of the security guards came and asked me are you going for the first time?

Dhara:

I said yes, so I because I've never been out of my home all by myself, but coming to Canada it was kind of second time. I really planned a lot. I was mentally prepared. I already booked my rental house here so I knew where I'm going. I checked internet, how much I have to pay to the taxi driver. I knew it will take exactly 30 minutes. I knew which gate I'm going to go through. So I was kind of very cautious and, gratefully, everything worked out as per the plan. Everything worked out as per the plan.

Dhara:

However, when I came here, it was a compromise, because everything in Canada was a compromise for me. I wanted to do a PhD and now I'm doing a PhD diploma. I lived in a downtown area in Philadelphia and now I'm living in South Africa. So for me it was all a compromise, but I wanted to be. I wanted to remember that why I have come here. But all in all, like I settled in half a day I already had all the addresses where I will find how to start my phone and how to get the grocery. So I came with all those lists and all those addresses. I walked by and I did certain things and by evening I was gone. I fell asleep and I don't remember what happened to my phone.

Gurasis:

Okay, and so your college started like immediately, or was it like maybe some days were there in between?

Gurasis:

I think after two weeks my college started okay, you had two weeks, but that's, I think, enough time to adjust, get your sin number, get acquainted with the grocery stores and the neighborhood, so that's enough. Um, so, during your, uh, college time you know, I've been even as a student you decided to also get a cashier job. You were telling me, right, and you chose that job over the call center job, which you also got, and you were telling me that that's because you wanted to fight this inner dialogue of loneliness and the conversation that you would have with yourself and the emotions that are kind of like coming towards you. You, you're not in the best state and that's why you chose to do the, the cashier job. And it was also, I believe you were telling me, the opportunity to get a bit of assimilated within the Canadian culture, right, and you also end up doing it for five years. So so tell me you know the mindset behind that and why that job over the call center one? And how was it that like for you as a student in canada?

Dhara:

for sure. So I'm I'm maybe kind of a method person. You know, I like to learn about everything before I actually apply, so I didn't want to. Uh, call center job was a was an office job talking to people over the phone. Now, that is something I've already practiced back home. Um, but working in a in a store was I don't know why fascinating to me, because I've never, worked before.

Dhara:

I've never been a cashier, um. So I really thought that this is something new. I can push my boundaries, I can, um, I can. I can be a little more uncomfortable doing it because I've never been on that side. Also, I wanted to learn about the Canadian society from the grassroots level, not what happens in the offices under a controlled environment. I really wanted to learn how these people are, how they think, what they do, and especially grocery store like I. I I started cooking here and then half the items in a grocery store. I had no idea what it is. How do you?

Gurasis:

just like all of us yeah it's such a mystery.

Dhara:

So I thought if I go work in a grocery store, I will learn about all this item. I will learn how people live here, what they do. And my store manager even told me that you know, talk to people. So I thought that that's amazing, because that's exactly what I want to do. I want to talk to people, I want to improve my language, my communication and understand the society. So that's why I did that.

Dhara:

But you are right, the another reason was that to combat the loneliness. Again, I don't want to sit in an office cabinet talking to people over the phone and maybe sobbing behind the back. So I really wanted to be in front of the people so that I don't feel lonely, I don't feel like I'm here all by myself. So that was kind of a cure for me to face the situation. And along with that, yeah, all those things came in.

Dhara:

I continued doing it for five years because A, they always provided me flexible hours so I could manage the study and work and whatever I wanted to do. Second, it was a steady income, whatever I wanted to do. Second, it was a steady income. I wanted to pay back my student loan, so I didn't want to lose that I was working all seven days a week and again, this learning part, I was actually enjoying that. I was actually talking to people and being a recruiter. I think it kind of worked out with me being a cashier you talk to people, you learn the culture and applying that on a forefront, and at the same time, I was lonely and I didn't want to stay home, not even for a day, not even during the weekend, and I didn't know anybody to go out or have fun. So I I, instead I choose to work so that I can, I can have that change, I can earn money at the same time.

Gurasis:

Um, I don't feel like I'm all by myself you know love that I do want to like echo this one thing you said about the mindset initially. You know where you said that you wanted to do this job because it was something exciting, something new for you. But you know, at the same time there are people who will actually see this as a downgrade and not really the the opportunity to be able to learn something new. So I love that and I really hope that people really instill that you know in themselves that not seeing all these odd jobs so to say that people call it as a downgrade, in fact all these jobs really help you definitely understand the other side of the story and at the same time, instill that character in you. It helps you build that character, you know, and uh. But you also talked about the variety of uh things that you see in grocery shelves.

Gurasis:

I kid or not, I think maybe it was uh, almost like three years ago I was in halifax, used to work in walmart and I was amazed to see the variety of cheese that exists in this world. Oh my god, like I was. I never heard about this. She called like brie cheese, gouda cheese, I only know like maybe cheddar or swiss, that's all. Maybe mozzarella, that's all. There was a variety of cheese you come across and so many, in fact, other items also, and also the fact that canada is such a diverse place and you were able to find those items and sauces like from all around the world. That's incredible.

Gurasis:

So this also kind of like when you're talking about that, it reminded me, you know, it took me back to the time that I spent, uh, in walmart and then, obviously, you know you mentioned the loneliness part of it. It's something I think everybody who comes alone, you know, without their family, face this and this, this job or any such job which allows you to go out of your house and assimilate within the culture and also, you know, find that some sort of community that you can belong to, not limited to your own communities, you know, not only the communities that you come from, but just being able to, like, really understand other side of the stories and getting into different atmosphere and being part of different ecosystems. That can really help you grow with this within this new country, and also it helps to navigate the life really easily rather than doing it all alone by yourself. So, yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing all these nuggets. I love them.

Gurasis:

Once you graduated you did, I believe, like an eight-month program and you were on a really time crunch, but you were able to get your permanent residency I would love for you to you know, tell our listeners the possibilities that are there and also the the chronologically that what, what were you doing? What time was that? How much it took you, how did you prepare yourself? A little bit about that, if you can tell us to the process of getting that pr yeah for sure.

Dhara:

So when I came, I had only eight months student visa. That that's all I had, right? And as we all know, when you have one year student visa, you get one year work permit. Now I had seven years of work experience from back home. I had two bachelors. I had a master degree as well. So in terms of getting PR, I was only lagging behind with one year's work experience canadian work experience so. So that that was my kind of aim. So, and it was tough because you know, once you finish your, your school, you cannot get the job- uh, right immediately.

Dhara:

It takes some time, so I was very diligent in terms of maintaining my timeline. So the day I landed here, I started applying for internships and I also started applying for part-time jobs wherever it was possible. So it took me six months to go through a variety of interviews for internship, for part-time jobs as well, and I wanted to make sure that my internship should be done with my program. Now my program was so condensed that my other classmates in the second semester they were actually leaving their part-time jobs just to fulfill this course requirements because it was so heavy, uh, whereas I was the one who took in the second semester, who started a part-time job and who also started an internship along with the final semester and people used to call me crazy, that you know, we are not able to manage one thing.

Gurasis:

That is intense.

Dhara:

Yeah, I have no choice, I have to do it so, but that was important, that was necessary, and it didn't happen overnight. I was working for it for six months. So I think so what I see here that so many students they come, they start, they try to find internship or job after they finish the program they should start it the day they come here, because it is going to take them. So I think that that's what helped, worked in my favor. And then I finished my internship and my program everything by April. And then I had one month, may, I prepared for the IELTS exam. June 15, I graduated officially and I got. I appeared for IELTS exam as well.

Dhara:

And then, after finishing one internship, I also landed the another internship. So I didn't just sit back and say, okay, one internship is over, I don't need to do anything anymore. I really wanted to gain the Canadian experience and again, I think that helped me as well. So from June and July I had another internship, um, I was working for ielts exam and I had finished my studies and I was looking for a job as well. So those two months, um, I did lots of interviews but I didn't get any job um I got my uh work permit.

Dhara:

I applied for work permit in june and then I got my work permit by by, I guess in somewhere in aug, august. And in that time August was the high time for me, because now I got the work permit, clock is ticking.

Gurasis:

I have to have a job, absolutely.

Dhara:

I have only one year and I need not one year work experience.

Dhara:

So in the beginning of August, or during the same time actually, I was really tired of applying for jobs and getting rejected. I think what went wrong is that everybody was telling me that you will never get a job in Toronto because you are an international student, toronto market is saturated and nobody will hire you. So you should apply to Alberta and Nova Scotia and God knows where, maybe go to small centers and maybe they'll hire you. So I was always applying everywhere else but Toronto or but nearby my area and all I was hearing is that we need local experience. Now I had experience. I had two internships, but it was not local to Alberta or somewhere else. So I was really tired and I said, if you all need local experience, then my local experience is here, my local experience is from Toronto. So one day I sit and I made a list of all the staffing agencies in Toronto, near my area especially, and I send a cold email containing my resume to all of them and I don't know, maybe 150, 200. I even don't remember the count.

Dhara:

But I really make sure that you know I reach out to everyone and regardless of their hiring or not hiring. I just sent out my resume and covered later. Gratefully, by end of August I got one message and they said that we would like to have a call with you. So we had a chat and after 15 minutes chat he said that would you like to come for an interview in two hours? I'm like sure, and I run for the interview in two hours and he was literally checking how passionate I really am, because if you ask somebody to come for an interview in two hours, maybe they would say oh no, I'm busy, I can't come. They may not. But I said yes and when I went there for the interview, I think according to him, I answered all his questions. Whatever experience he was looking for, I answered that it was a very small company, but I don't mind. I didn't mind, I needed a work experience. So I got that job gratefully.

Dhara:

First he asked me to work there only for two weeks. He said that you are an international student. I don't know if you know how to work in Canada. I'll hire you only for two weeks and I'm not going to give you any training because I don't know. If you know how to work in Canada, I'll hire you only for two weeks and I'm not going to give you any training because I don't know. People take my training and then they don't work out. So I'm tired of it. So I'll hire you for two weeks. If you can do some magic and if you prove yourself, I'll train you and then I'll continue with you.

Gurasis:

What was that position?

Dhara:

That was a recruiter's job in a staffing company yeah. But it was a 360 desk because they didn't have many contracts as well. So I have to find employers who would have job requirements, and I also have to find candidates to fill in those jobs.

Dhara:

Yeah, and he was not even looking at me. There was no other staff members in the company, but I had a job coach. I think she was very helpful. She used to tell me what to do, how to do, and that way, gratefully, in the very first week I got one client first client. They finalized the deal and, you know, second week, second week, he said you are in, and rest is the history. You know it was a very full experience.

Dhara:

So that that's how I got this job and I worked there for not one year, um, and whatever money I earned, because I by that end of one year I already had, uh, enough points to apply for PR, considering my education, my experience, my previous experience in education. But again, I had to stay in Canada because after one year my work permit was over. So I applied for another PG diploma for one year and then, during that time I applied for my PR. It took me six months to go through that, to have my file picked up in the express entry, and six months that my file got processed. And during that time I was studying, I was doing part-time job, I was also doing 10 hours at my full-time job. Gratefully, they kind of accommodated me and, yeah, by 2017 May I got the PR approval. By August 2017 I got my PR.

Gurasis:

Wow, what a journey. You know, when you, when you talked about like my work permit was left for just one month, you know it gives me PTSD because it happened with me also I was left with like just one month of work permit. It was just going and I somehow again the magic happened and, by God's grace, everything worked out. But literally, you know, dara, listening to you, I feel like I could think of only three words for your journey so far Definitely like hardworking, persistent, you know perseverance and willingness to make it happen. You had that willingness. It knew that. You know this is it. You know do or die situation. You are in it fully and not giving up no matter what happens. You know and I and I love that spirit, I really love that spirit in you. So kudosudos, you know, for that.

Dhara:

Thank you so much, yeah.

Gurasis:

And obviously later after that, you got into this another program and you were also, I believe, volunteering at a couple of places, and this one place which really caught my eye was Seven Cups. Tell me, like, what is that place and what were you doing there?

Dhara:

Yeah. So I was working at Randstad at that time and one of the candidates that I was interviewing he did volunteering with Seven Cups. So I was curious and I asked him what is it and what do you do there? And he told me that it's all about helping people for with their mental health. Um, it's not talking to anybody, but it's like providing support by chat, um, and you are basically a listener. So whenever somebody has a mental health issue, you know. When you are lonely and you have nobody to go out and talk to, you can go to seven cup website. You can have your own account, which could be anonymous. A listener is also anonymous. There are a ton of volunteers and they just have to be there and listen.

Dhara:

And I thought that this is really interesting A you are helping somebody. B you are not revealing anybody's identity, so you know you are safe and secure that way. And, most importantly, I had a selfish goal behind it, because in my personality I feel that I talk a lot. I really need to learn how to listen more and I think this would be a good opportunity just to listen and not judge anybody and not give your opinion. So that why I I joined that program as a listener. I volunteered there, there, um, for a few months, um, and they do provide you training as well. They do provide you feedback, um. So I think it. It's a good program and and I did lots of different volunteering work, but I think that was one of the very specific experience.

Gurasis:

Yeah, that's what caught my eye. And is this something that anybody can really go and join them, or are there, like certain qualifications that one has to have?

Dhara:

No qualification. They'll provide you trainings and guidelines, so you have to follow their guidelines very strictly. I think they do keep a very close eye as to what you do, because you know if you are a listener you cannot judge them. But um, it's free for all. Anybody can become a listener and anybody can share their, their stuff. So literally no qualification required love.

Gurasis:

That you know, and if any of our listeners is interested, check them out. You know why not. So you are currently a senior IT recruiter at Johnson Service Group. So you, as a recruiter, you know who is doing headhunting, talking to tons of international students. You know employers as well. What. What are maybe the three things, or maybe as many, you want to just share? You know employers as well. What are maybe the three things, or maybe as many, you want to just share? You know what are the three things, or five things, you'd like to share for the. You know current graduates or somebody who's just looking for a job that they can do to actually get the opportunities they need.

Dhara:

List could be more than three, but I think internship is very important. If it looked like you know, it goes without saying, but I have, unfortunately. I have come across so many international students who would try to avoid internship. They say that I don't have to do it because my program doesn't require.

Dhara:

You should still do it, because that's the way you gain your work experience if you don't do and then you say that, oh, they require experience, or they need canadian exposure, and I don't have any, but you missed out on that opportunity. In fact, you should keep on doing two, three, four internships till you don't get the full-time job. So utilize that time. So I think internship is so important that we we don't understand the power of it, but that's your avenue to get that experience. Um second is volunteer work. Um, again, I have seen so many international students and immigrants saying that canada is not my country, this is not my society. Why do I work for free for them? You, you know, I have my own problem, my community is different.

Dhara:

Okay, but now you're part of this country, now you're part of this community. We need to understand that India has its own problems and issues, canada has its own problems and issues, even if.

Dhara:

Canadian born and brought ups are not part of our community. Now you are part of that community as well. So unless and until you don't understand them, how would you gel with them? How would you become a part of this country? You cannot say that I'll stay aloof, I'll only work, I'll only earn money and I'll only have good parts of this society. I will not even bother to learn or understand what's wrong here. I think that that whole mindset needs to be changed. In fact, by doing volunteering, you are not obliging them, you are obliging yourself.

Dhara:

Because, volunteering, you are learning something new, you are getting Canadian exposure, you get a chance to do the networking and you never know, today you are volunteering somewhere, tomorrow they might hire you for something right, you need references. So volunteering, especially in this country, is, is a way more important than we think it would be. It's not just a free work for some other community, it's actually your own help, for your own help and support. And third is, I think, networking, um, which again could be very scary in the beginning. Uh, right, uh, you don't know what should I do in the networking. I so many candidates, uh, students, they ask me, but I'm shy, you know, I don't know anybody how to do networking. Well, to tell you, tell you the truth, I was the same. I was new to the country. I didn't even know the etiquettes, I couldn't even eat with the fork and the knife right, I didn't know how to do networking.

Dhara:

My language was not that fluent. But I think what I did was that my professor used to push us to go to HRPA events because we were studying HR management, so they forced us to become part of HR professional and then I used to attend a lot of those events. Initially, all I used to do is dress up well, professionally and sit at a place where somebody is smiling at me and I used to smile and I used to look at everybody, just being comfortable, not doing any dialogue or not trying to participate into anything, just being there, just having that proper attire, just feeling the ambience and creating that acquaintance with, with the environment. I think that's what I did. Initially. I really didn't do much, but I think that means a lot because when you go regularly, they will recognize you and you recognize them, and then the dialogue starts and then you learn from them and they learn from you, and then eventually I was volunteering with HRPA. So then you get highlighted and then imagine 100 people are attending an event, you are one of the volunteers and they're all HR and you are trying to get a job in the HR field.

Dhara:

So I think networking is so important and it shouldn't be scary. And it's not wastage of time. It's not that networking means, oh, I have to go there. You know you have to pay the fare, you have to spend time. I didn't even have professional attire at that time. I remember I bought secondhand shoes from another shop just to be there and be part of it. But I think if you put in that effort, it will pay you off. That's how you build up connection. That's how you know how to put yourself out there. And it is powerful. You never know who is watching you. So I think these three things are so important right from the beginning. You know, not after. You are frustrated and you lose time. And now, um, it's do or die. Right from the beginning, start doing all of that.

Gurasis:

Um, it's uncomfortable, but it's worth it yeah, and listeners should keep in mind this is coming from someone who has close to 40 000 followers on linkedin, so whatever she's saying, it's working for her and it will work for you as well. And yeah, so these are, I, I think, great, great points and obviously I would like to like highlight them three quickly. Definitely, like you know, go for those internships. They're extremely important to build that Canadian experience, so to say. Definitely, volunteer, that helps you build that character and the network. And third, obviously, networking. You know network. Go to those events and if you are on those events, like dhara said, you know, dress well, smile and be like an observer and a sponge and did it like, take everything in that you can. You know the nuggets, the things that people share. You know, whatever the, the value that you can gain from those connections, those in-person interactions, just take them all. So love this, dhara, thank you. Thank you so much for all this.

Gurasis:

So, dhara, before we get into the final segment, you know one thing which, uh, uh, we asked you.

Gurasis:

You know which was like what are dhara, like some of your challenges or what are the something that you discovered about yourself when you said that one of the things that I have experienced is that I don't look my age, and that is one of the challenges, because people forget that, that, okay, I'm Dara, like, I am like the LinkedIn top recruiter, right, you, you can't just judge me just because the way I look or I have like a petite height, you know, you can't just define me on the basis of that.

Gurasis:

That is something I'm extremely passionate about, that, because I wear a turban and I think I have been in certain rooms where people have not taken me seriously just because I had an accent. You know, I still have an accent and or I wear a turban, right. So I think now I have built this persona, or maybe like this certain, you can say, like a habit of not letting those things in. You know, I really have blinders towards all these comments and all these things, but I want you to tell us because you have obviously evolved, still evolving to become to the to that person doesn't care anymore about all these things. But tell me what has your journey been like in that aspect and what are you working on to really, you know, come out of that that imposter syndrome, shell, so to say?

Dhara:

yeah, that's very interesting and it's quite a personal journey, but I'd like to share um. So I think I went through different stages in terms of facing this dilemma. So initially I used to feel degraded and I used to feel that I'm good for nothing and that's why, um, they're judging me, um, but, but I can't just say that I have to do something about it. Um. So initially, used to make me feel low and feel down, I used to, um, I used to accept that, okay, I'm not that person that you think, that I would like you to think I am. That's okay. Whatever you believe, I am that.

Dhara:

But then, that was not working for me. After one stage I have to come up. I have to say that I have to. If I'm shining, I'm shining. What can I do If I'm hiring?

Gurasis:

I'm hiring.

Dhara:

If I'm able to do it, I'm able to do it. What can I do If I'm hiring? I'm hiring. If I'm able to do it, I'm able to do it. Then I learned that I'm being too much of a people pleaser. I'm trying to make everybody happy and that's not going to happen. It's out of my control so I stopped doing it. If somebody I started thinking that you know, now I want to create reciprocal relations, if you are respectful with me, I'm respectful with you.

Dhara:

If you don't want to talk to me, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to bother you. I don't want to um make you to think about something that you even don't want to think about if you.

Dhara:

You think I'm this, maybe I'm this. If you think I'm that, then maybe I'm that. If you think I'm that, then maybe I'm that. If you and me we are matching the wavelength, then we'll talk on a personal level, but otherwise I'll keep it professional. And what is professional is just whatever we need to do. We'll do it without any bias or malice. But if I know that you don't respect me the way I like it to be, then I will not go across the professional line, I will not go into the personal area. So I think focusing on creating reciprocal relationship that kind of helped me a lot. Then I came to a stage where I used to get kind of angry. For example, even at the Costco I used to, when I buy a lot of stuff, there was one cashier, a young guy. He said oh so do you earn enough to spend this much money all in one go?

Dhara:

No way, I'm like you are 16, 17 year old cashier. He thought maybe I'm an 11, 12 standard. I have had all those comments when I was working as a cashier. Somebody said that you are 16 years old and you can't lift up this much weight. I'm like I'm not. I'm 32 right now, so that's okay. But I was like then I used to feel angry, but then I realized that you know what I'm putting too much focus on myself. Let me focus on them. Why they're saying it? Because for them it's a big thing, right. For me it's not. This is my reality, but it's not their reality yet. So it's not my problem. It's it's not their reality yet, so it's not my problem. It's actually their problem that they have not yet understood what's going on around them. Yeah, um, I I started being okay with that. I started being thinking that it's it's their perception, and their perception is not shaping up my life and also, you can't really justify everything you know.

Gurasis:

You can't just give justifications to everybody you know. Let them be whatever you know. Uh, they have their own perceptions, they are the bubble they are living in.

Dhara:

Sure, go ahead if that works for you yeah, exactly I, I think um focusing on yourself and and being more self-assured, um, and that helps, because now, when, when it doesn't affect you, then they see that maybe you are a mature person.

Gurasis:

Right.

Dhara:

And that has been my journey. I'm still fighting, I think I still have to prove every time, and it still takes time for certain people to understand my potential. But I think it's all about me, it's all about my perception, it's all about how I carry myself and and it has nothing to do with them People will change. You need to know how to change that.

Gurasis:

Absolutely, you know.

Gurasis:

I think all this also to have this dialogue with yourself, it also stems from the point of recognizing that what you are doing, you know, and what are the trigger points, what are the things that are actually impacting you are doing, you know, and what?

Gurasis:

What are the trigger points, what are the things that are actually impacting you or affecting you, you know?

Gurasis:

This also reminds me there's another conversation I had with a friend regarding, you know, being niceness, the niceness level, and we were saying that, you know, maybe earlier, when I was younger at least, you know, I think, also stems from my mother, because my mother is like that if somebody is like 10, nice to me, I used to go like above and beyond, to the 90 and be nice to them and unfortunately that hurts, you know, that has hurt me in various, uh, ways.

Gurasis:

It has hurt me and because it wasn't reciprocated, the way I was really putting into that sort of relationship, right, and I think then eventually now I have come at a point where I gauge whether this person actually deserves the, the above and beyond level, or maybe it's just 10%, just give them another 10 and just that's all, case closed, you know. So I think I am also on that journey right now and, since you shared that and reminded me on uh, to share that with you, you know, and with my listeners as well, that's something that I think, that's all something, that kind of journey I am going through and I'm hoping to you know, uh, really build those boundaries wherever they are necessary.

Gurasis:

Yeah, yeah, 100 all right, this is, uh, I've been such an amazing topic, you know, and I I think I'm loving this conversation so much, but I think I'll move on beyond that and we'll get into the final segment. But before that, dhara, you know, I have included this another segment in my season two, which is called Know your Host, where I give my guests an opportunity to ask me any questions they might have.

Dhara:

Oh my gosh, I'd like to know how much have you traveled across Canada, outside Canada?

Gurasis:

That's a very interesting question. Actually, I'll tell you, I haven't really traveled enough up until my 22, 23 years, when I came to Canada. That was my first time ever coming to outside of my city. And after coming to Canada Canada, I would say I have lived in various cities, like I've lived in Montreal, I've lived in Halifax as well, and after that I think I was so much, or I would say like during my initial three, four years, that I was so much consumed by the whole immigration process and just trying to make a living, you know, and just living like paycheck to paycheck and just somehow being able to pay my dues and being also able to feed myself and trying to bring in this fun whatever I can, what was in my capacity back then. So first, three, four years literally went by like that, and after that, I would say it was last year when, for the first time, I was actually able to travel. You can call it like a vacation. I was actually able to travel the cities which I always wanted to visit, like I went to new york for the first time last year. It was my first time and it was magical. It was so, uh, overwhelming also, but but so beautiful also to stand in that time square, which you have seen all your life in movies, you know. And then I also went to toronto and you'll say that toronto is not that far. You haven't been there, everything. But literally I haven't.

Gurasis:

I came in 2018. I remember I had my cousin and his wife, whom I visited back in 2018. And I lived with them for like four years. But I kid you not, I have no recollection of those four days. I literally don't, because I feel like I was still trying to process that. Have I really moved abroad? Have I really come to Canada? Am I not living in my house anymore? I was still trying to process and I think it was my second week in Canada when I visited my cousin there. So, yeah, I would say I haven't traveled a lot, but I aim to do that a lot in the coming years.

Gurasis:

But I'll tell you one more thing that because since I've started this podcast, which was in 2022 September was my first episode and I've been recording like an year before that I would say through this podcast and through these conversations, I have traveled a lot, because the people I have spoken to they are from around the world, you know. They have told me about various cities and various countries I never even knew about. For example, I spoke to somebody from bulgaria. You know somebody from czech republic, somebody from costa rica, somebody who is currently in egypt. You know somebody I'm going to speak to somebody who is currently living in brussels I believe that's what the city is called and I can't recall. But yeah, being able to have these conversations and learn about those cities is incredible. So, not physically, but I would say through these conversations I have traveled a lot.

Dhara:

Yeah, amazing, amazing yeah yeah, no great question.

Gurasis:

Thank you for asking that. So now, dharav, you're in the final segment of the podcast. I call it beneath the accent. I'm going to ask a couple of questions. You can answer them in one word or a sentence, or however you feel like. The idea is just to know more about you, so ready yes so first is, what advice would you give to dhara at a younger age, and at what age?

Dhara:

I would advise myself when I was 18 years old that do not be afraid of toxic people.

Gurasis:

Okay, describe a moment when you experienced a significant cultural difference that surprised you in Canada.

Dhara:

There were many but one that when everybody used to ask me in the beginning, are you good? I used to feel of course I'm good. Why do you think?

Gurasis:

okay, that's like the very uh initial instinct that comes up. You know, hey, how are you? Are you good? You're good like, like that. I'd see that. Okay, what's that one dish dhara from your home country that always brings you comfort and nostalgia?

Dhara:

Oh, kichidi, that's my most favorite.

Gurasis:

Are there any funny stories related to your misunderstanding around the accent or the English that you had?

Dhara:

Oh, yes, of course. So on my first day at job, hr was walking me through all the rules and regulations and after a while, while she take a pause for a while and she said so are we on the same page? I said yes, of course we are on the same page, page number three. Okay, he said that, oh, you're funny. I I couldn't understand what was so funny about it. We were on page number three that is so funny.

Gurasis:

Okay, I love that. So what's your favorite cultural festival or celebration in canada and how do you usually celebrate it?

Dhara:

oh, christmas, I love christmas. I love the idea of um, santa claus, uh, what I like about it? I think, uh, you know, they exchange cookies usually homemade cookies, um, in my office, and I love those cookies A, they're free, b they're delicious, and C, I feel like I'm very special that they're cooking something and then, you know, they're gifting it to me. So I love Christmas, I love exchanging gifts, I even like to give gifts as well, but I think Christmas cookies are my best favorite.

Gurasis:

Okay, amazing and share like a quick tip for fellow immigrants who are trying to adjust into a new country.

Dhara:

I would say explore and be ready to to push your envelope and don't be afraid of being uncomfortable. Don't seek comfort all the time. Try to do things that you have not tried earlier. That's the only way you can actually adjust and progress okay, that's amazing.

Gurasis:

Yeah, tell us about the first friend that you made in canada she's also my best friend in canada.

Dhara:

She's chinese and when I was studying I was crying in the corner of a library. Um, and she came to me and she started talking to me and ever since she became my friend, so she was my first friend, the best friend ever and you guys are still in contact.

Dhara:

You guys meet often, love that and uh share a moment where being an immigrant made you feel exceptionally proud or accomplished yeah, I think we we understand so many different perceptions, uh, because we understand two different societies, east and west polar apart, uh, and we have those understandings and insights. And I feel very fortunate to be the immigrant because now I know and understand both the part of the world, whereas the people who are, who have never been to other part, either only been in North America or been in India, I think they're missing out on so many things just to understand the life, the vastness of of it. So I feel really proud and privileged to be able to have that understanding.

Gurasis:

That's a great answer. Yeah, absolutely, I can relate to that Love, that If you had to describe yourself, dara, as any creature, what would it be and why?

Dhara:

I think my spirit animal is a duck, the way you see the duck being very calm and composed on the outside, but it's actually working hard from the inside.

Gurasis:

so I think I I I resemble myself with that great and what's something you ate for the first time in canada I think I had muffins okay yeah if you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Dhara:

it's my childhood dream. I like to be a fairy, I like to have a magical wand, and I want to fulfill everybody's wish. Whatever anybody wants to do, I just do some magic and and they get it.

Gurasis:

So that that's the power I want okay, if you had to create this one law that everybody has to follow, what would it be? You cannot lie you have to speak the truth and finally, how would you describe canada in a word or a sentence? It's multicultural okay, and nadara, if you could leave, if you had to leave at one advice for me, what would it be?

Dhara:

reach out to more people. I think more people needs to know who you are and what you do and what kind of person you are um, I don't know. Expand your reach, because I think people need to know you Even more people need to know you. So do whatever you need to do to reach out to a larger audience.

Gurasis:

Absolutely. That's the aim, for sure.

Dhara:

And finally, Dara, how would you describe your experience of being on this podcast? It's very motivational and fulfilling experience because um I talked about certain parts of my life and the journey that I never talked to anybody before, so I don't know it was. There was something you know about it that made me talk about it and again think about it. So very grateful, very, um, very happy and fulfilled wow, great, great words.

Gurasis:

You know I'm I'm overwhelmed to just listen to what you just said and thank you. Thank you so much, dhara, for for your kind words, for being on the podcast and adding value to me and to my listeners, so thank you so much my pleasure.

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