Gurasis: 0:19

So, as immigrants venture into new territories, the maze of uncertainties often unfolds. Doubts can cast shadows, yet the key lies in recognizing one's inherent worth and capacity. Our guest today embodies the spirit of self-belief. Having migrated to Canada with her three children, she faced the complexities of pursuing her vision, amidst challenges and frustrations. Her journey mirrors that one of an explorer at crossroads, navigating the intricate maze of choices, particularly with the responsibility of her children in tow. In the face of uncertainty, she held firm to the belief that her resilience would pave the way for success in Canada. What sets her narrative apart is not just her personal triumph, but a commitment to paying it forward. Having embraced her accent throughout her journey, she now extends a guiding hand to new and aspiring immigrants. She channels her experiences into a beacon of wisdom, helping others avoid the pitfalls she encountered. Today we delve into a journey that underscores the significance of self-assurance in the immigrants' narrative. Join us in the exploration of resilience, adaptation and the profound belief that, as immigrants, we are enough. Please welcome Ruth Javier.

Ruth: 1:37

Thank you so much for this beautiful introduction, gorasis, and I think it captures what I stand for, so thank you so much for that.

Gurasis: 1:46

Absolutely no. Thank you for being that beacon of wisdom for all the upcoming and current immigrants that we are here today, and I was so happy to see you on the event that I met you at in Toronto. So very happy to have you on the podcast, welcome.

Ruth: 2:00

Thank you so much. It was a beautiful surprise for me because I have heard about the thick accent, since the previous interviewer was a Spanish-speaking person that I knew and I said this is amazing. I was listening from my way to work and I was mentioning your name with my kids and I said someone is talking, talking about this, and then suddenly I met you without planning it. So it was wonderful, thank you so much also for again talking to me there as well absolutely.

Gurasis: 2:32

You know, I was telling somebody that I haven't put my face out yet enough. You know, up until that event, and when I saw you and you saw me, you knew name but you didn't know the face behind it, right? And I told you that I am Gurasees and you were like, oh my God, you are the host of the podcast. It was so nice to see that reaction from you, so I love that. So thank you for that. No, problem.

Ruth: 2:55

It was an amazing surprise.

Gurasis: 2:57

Yeah, okay, awesome. So before we get more into your journey. So this is my second season and this season I'm trying to turn up the fun factor a little bit, so I want to start by asking you some fun questions, so ready.

Ruth: 3:11

Okay, ready. Okay so first is what's your go-to breakfast? Oh, my go-to breakfast. I love oatmeal. It's something. I grew up with. So my mom used to cook oatmeal and it's sweet the way she cooked it. She cooks it and it's a great way to get fiber. So every morning, I go to my oatmeal with anything, bread oatmeal by itself, oatmeal shake we are very similar.

Gurasis: 3:39

I love that because I am the same person. I my my go-to breakfast is actually oatmeal and I think I've been consuming overnight oats from more than three years now. Like I literally prepared it like on the Sunday night and for the whole week, and I think I eat it every morning, so I can relate to that yeah.

Ruth: 4:00

Yes, it's a powerful food. If anyone wants to try it and never tried oatmeal, there are many ways to consume it. So thank you for that question absolutely, yeah, okay.

Gurasis: 4:09

So my second question is share a favorite song or a dialogue or a movie and tell us why it's significant to you my favorite song, um, or movie.

Ruth: 4:21

I will choose a song because I enjoy singing from time to time, okay, and because I have kids, I cannot help. But, uh, choose a from a kid movie. Uh, so there is that song that's called colors of the wind, and the reason, uh, I love that song is from pocahontas movie, and the reason why I love the color of the wind is because it captures the message of we belong on this earth.

Ruth: 4:52

We are all human, so it says that you can. One part of the song says you cannot own the earth until you learn how to paint colors with the wind. But again it says that it covers the story of someone who keeps hunting but also diminishing other, different people from who they are. And the person was singing about hey, you have been traveling so much, but why do you seem so ignorant, not recognizing that I'm a human like you are, so color of the wind from pocahontas is my favorite one I love that.

Gurasis: 5:29

No, there is a like a second paragraph I think I've heard about that that says that you think that you own whatever land you land on the earth is just a dead end.

Ruth: 5:40

You can claim that thing you can claim, oh you know, that song good asses, yeah it's a little bit. I've heard about that, yeah, yeah I love that the color of the wind okay, I love that.

Gurasis: 5:52

Okay, so next is, if you had to teach like one phrase in your mother tongue to all of us, what would it be and what does it mean?

Ruth: 6:01

oh, wow, oh, my goodness, we have so many. Because I was born and grew up in the dominican republic, I will use that phrase that you will hear around keloke. Keloke means everything. How are you? What's up, keloke? What's what's moving? Uh, tell me about yourself, keloke. So that's something. I it's very informal, but it's a way of and if you say, if you say it, they will know you from the dominican republic, or you know about dominican uh lingo language okay, we have actually very similar in punjabi, which is and it kind of like translates into it's a very informal way of asking hey, what's up, you know?

Gurasis: 6:43

hey, what's going on, hey, are you all right? Like that, get down. So we have that also starts from the K, you know. So I like that. Thank you, kelo.

Ruth: 6:51

K Right.

Gurasis: 6:54

Love that Okay.

Ruth: 7:05

So if you could teleport back to a particular place from your home country or anywhere for a day, where would it be?

Ruth: 7:08

and what would you do? Okay, two years ago, I went to visit my sister in italy and I went to a place called verona. It's a very small, small place near the coast. It's very touristic and there are beautiful places where you can sit and just enjoy the fresh air. You can find that anywhere, but I found in Verona or in Italy. The culture is so rich that you can find houses from many years ago and what I enjoyed the most there was the beautiful windows.

Ruth: 7:34

The highlight there is the window. How they design it for a purpose I don't know. So if I could teleport back, I would go back there and sit there and reflect on the culture and all the story behind everything around me okay, perfect.

Gurasis: 7:50

So now I want to take you back to the time you spent in Dominican Republic. Like you mentioned, you were born there and I think particularly you were telling me the city was Puerto Plata right, yes, yeah, so tell me, I'm sure about that. I saw the beautiful beaches and the, the Tiffany Blue water you know all around. So tell me a little bit more about your formative years, and how was it like just growing up there?

Ruth: 8:14

yeah, so the city is Puerto Plata. I'm from the small town called Sosua, so Sosua is where the touristic, traveling and all the activities happen. So in Sosua, I studied there, I had my elementary years there and also my high school as well. So I made all my life in Sosua, puerto Plata, and growing up there was an amazing way of living and again, it's very different from here For everything we know here in Canada, canada's perspective, and it's that there people are super friendly and if you are traveling it's not like you can just go outside and call a cab or just take the bus.

Ruth: 9:01

Yes, it can happen. However, some families my family were not rich or they were not, you know, financially rich. But I remember when I was traveling to my high school, if I didn't have money for transportation, I would always get transportation and my high school was like around 30 to 45 minutes away and I would come down the mountain, beautiful mountain and coming down there, I would receive always a ride from somebody. I can drive you every day and I did that for four years and, yes, there were great days, but never missed, uh, high school, a date in high school. Uh, because people are there so friendly and helpful and I remember I promised myself anytime I after I graduate and I find a good job.

Ruth: 9:59

If I see anyone walking, I would give them a ride because I know what it is to walk so this is one highlight I can say people up there are very helpful, very friendly and you will never feel alone if you're around anyone, even people that you don't know yeah, I know this reminds me of this, another um anecdote I was discussing on one of the episodes in the last season.

Gurasis: 10:22

I told them that I come from a country where, if you ask somebody for the directions, they will not tell you directions. They will make sure that they go along with you and drop you at that particular place that you're going to. So I think that's the sign of coming from that collectivistic society, right?

Ruth: 10:41

yes, I agree, I agree, and that's something, something I wouldn't change for the world, because living there is a blessing. Yes, there are some challenges in growing up, but if we focus in on, on on the blessings and that part of everyone around you is able to help you, and if you are a tourist and you ask for help, they will guide you until you get there safe. So I can totally relate and I'm happy to hear that your part of your culture is similar to on that side.

Gurasis: 11:10

Absolutely yeah, but tell me a little bit more about the family dynamic. How was it like? Like within the family, within the siblings, or what the focus was on, like growing up like growing up.

Ruth: 11:30

Let me choose my words here. I grew up with seven. It was seven of us, four brothers, three sisters. It was a busy house, I'm sure Very busy house. My parents were lovely public laborers. They would go to work. I'm the first born out of the seven of us, so I would help my siblings in the morning. My dad would go to work in the afternoons and so is my mom. So the dynamic was always helping each other, helping each other.

Ruth: 11:58

Me making sure everything is working while mom is away, but also all of us collectively helping each other. Another highlight of my childhood is that we grew up in a place where we had a lot of kids a lot of kids in the neighborhood. And as a firstborn. I think I'm a natural leader. I would say this is the firstborn and you get the responsibility.

Ruth: 12:26

So my highlight is that I would gather all the kids in the neighborhood with my siblings and either teach them how to paint, teach them how to read or have a little school on completing the assignment together. That was a beautiful, really cohesive group, I would say, because it was a very small neighborhood but all of us would come together. So I remember that clearly. And we didn't have technology there. So, yes, electricity and everything. But I grew up I didn't grow up with this new generation with a phone from outside of the womb. There we would play, I believe. In English we call it hopscotch.

Ruth: 13:08

I believe and we would play that every day. It was a vibrant neighborhood. I would say, growing up with kids and seeing them grow up with you and see how life changed for everyone around you, yeah, what do you call it in spanish, hopscotch um, so there are two of them. So, um, man, I'm blanking out, I will remember in just a minute, just a moment okay the other one is is puzzled.

Ruth: 13:41

We call him rompecabeza. Rompecabeza means breaking your head. Literally, that's what translates for that. We would sit down and cut pieces of any type of picture and come together and put this rompecabeza, or puzzle, together. That was a fun way to keep yourself entertained.

Gurasis: 14:00

It's like a collage, so to say.

Ruth: 14:02

Yes, it was a collageage, but it was a set picture. We just cut it in several pieces and then put them together okay yeah interesting.

Gurasis: 14:11

Okay, and tell me that something people might not know about dominican republic and you'd like to educate us about that okay.

Ruth: 14:19

So I can think of two things. Number one is how Dominicans are proud of their food and our food are good, really good. It's not spicy but very flavorful, and one of the main dishes there is rice, beans and meat. We call them, we even have a name for it, and the name is Bandera Dominicana, like Dominican flag. That's how proud we are of that type of food. So rice, beans and meat, that's Bandera Dominicana and that's a way to still show our pride in what we do, and that's a way to still show our pride in what we do. The second thing is that I don't think many people know is that Dominican flag is the without a doubt, the only flag that has a Bible in the middle, and the Bible reads and you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. So I feel like I'm proud of that, because Dominicans are very much known, because they are Catholics and Christians, and having a Bible also makes Dominican people very proud as well.

Gurasis: 15:44

Okay, really, really interesting. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, you know. I want to tell us a little bit more about your choice of the career, because I remember you were telling me that you were a teacher back in Dominican Republic before you moved here. So what made you decide to get into teaching?

Ruth: 16:01

Okay, that's a great question.

Ruth: 16:03

And going back to growing up with siblings in a neighborhood full of children, those groups, I would lead them, I would teach them how to do things because I would be in a higher grade.

Ruth: 16:15

But what made me go into education is the way I grew up with teachers as well. I loved what they did and how they guided every single student, but also I wanted to make a difference because growing up, I also saw things that should have been a little bit different and I said, okay, I have the natural talent of teaching because in my neighborhood or going to church, I would teach small groups. So I said, any days that I become a teacher, I would love to make the kid feel how I felt with certain teachers and do the exact opposite, how I felt with other teachers. So, growing up there, again, I'm a black woman and growing up black is a little bit different in the Dominican Republic because even though Dominican have a huge variety of colors, we are very colorful, but one of my parents are from Haitian descent, so there is a little bit of, again, friction there between that part of the country and the other part of the country. So, again, I wanted to really emphasize on the importance of being yourself wherever you are.

Ruth: 17:31

I wanted my students to feel I belong here, I can be myself, no matter where I came from, but I can be myself. So when I decided to be a teacher, that's exactly what I had in mind every single kid I would teach. I want them to feel uh, welcomed, they belong.

Gurasis: 17:49

Yes, I can be successful here yeah, it feels like you had this passion for um owning who you are it. I feel like it didn't really happen after you moved to Canada. It was something which was instilled in you growing up and that's what I think you were trying to pass on in your teaching, right.

Ruth: 18:10

And you're right. You're right. And I will go back to my childhood. I remember my dad helping me go through some situations. For example, back there, I remember one particular teacher saying certain words that shouldn't be said and I went to my dad and I said to him what the teacher said and he said hey, that's his words. Know who you are and he would ask me several times who are you?

Ruth: 18:42

I'm ruth javier. No, who are you? I'm ruth javier. And can you do anything? Yes, I can do anything. And he said to me I will never forget. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent absolutely as a child.

Ruth: 18:56

I maybe didn't understand it completely. And again, I had both sides, was born and grew up in the country, but someone was trying to make me feel like I don't belong. So I started to overcome those obstacles and use them to be resilient and to feel proud of myself. And my dad would always say hey, maybe I cannot give you money, maybe I cannot give you richness, but I want you to have an education and I want you to believe in yourself, and that's what I that's the message I wanted to transmit to other people yeah, I know it seemed like a very powerful words.

Gurasis: 19:35

I love that. I'd like to repeat that for my listeners. He said that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. So I love that. You know very, very powerful and that is something. If people really adopt this philosophy, imagine the amount of times people have, you know, put some shade on you. What does hate comments that you come across all the time? But if you do not allow that comment immerse in yourself or in your body, you know, imagine how much powerful you really become and how empowered you really become. You know not letting anything affect you. I love that, you know. Thank you for sharing that.

Ruth: 20:12

Yes, yes, and and it's an exercise it doesn't come easy, so I'm saying it's so easy and light, but it is not so easy because words are powerful we and light.

Ruth: 20:21

But it is not so easy because words are powerful. We don't realize it, but the way we, our opinion about something or someone, what we say and how we say it can affect someone. So I believe it's, if we can and we have the maturity to do it, we can exercise that on believing in ourselves and understanding the other person. Maybe have their own issues as well.

Ruth: 20:45

They have absolutely so maybe we can have that beautiful shield. I would say to to cover the bad and to open up that shield to receive the good that comes from other people, good, very good people around you yeah, so it's an exercise definitely believing in yourself and not letting other people's words discourage you, which I believe is embodied in this whole entire podcast thank you for saying that.

Gurasis: 21:15

Absolutely it, sure it is. You can't let those comments bog you down any. Let let's just say you know those racism, bad, hateful comments, you can't let them bog you down because that actually stops you from going towards the mission, going towards your goal that you came for being an immigrant when you come here. And another thing you know. I want to add what you just said, what your father said, that something about you know, happiness, which I learned maybe, I would say, like two years ago, during pandemic.

Gurasis: 21:44

It was about that you cannot hold anybody accountable for your happiness, because if you do that, you're not only giving the other person the power to make you happy all the time, but I think you're also giving them the putting them. Giving, I mean putting like a certain sort of responsibility on them to make you happy all the time and, and the the truth is, nobody can can really make you feel a certain way for the longest amount of time, because some of the other point, one or the other, will fall and you cannot do that. So the bottom line is do not hold anybody accountable for your own happiness.

Ruth: 22:20

Yeah, completely agree. I wouldn't put it any better, gurasis, and that's a message that should be out there for anyone who needs it. Your happiness is yours, and making sure that you're happy and making sure you believe in yourself, and also spreading this happiness around you that should be the mission you know taking care, because if I have this happiness within me, I can spread it out there. So I cannot put it in anybody's hand to make me feel wanted, make me feel happy, even though it feels like it's someone's responsibility. But it's not.

Gurasis: 23:00

Yeah, absolutely yeah, great, great, great, great conversations. Now I want to pivot towards your decision of moving to Canada.

Ruth: 23:10

Tell me how was the process for you like and how was also your first day when you landed yes, I love going back to memory lane and moving to Canada was a, I would say, a bittersweet decision. Number one I'm an adventurous person. I love adventures. I had three kids before moving to Canada and my family lives there my mom, my dad so moving to Canada to the adventure would mean leaving them behind. So that's the bitter part for me also leaving my siblings behind. I wouldn't see them frequently anymore. So the sweet part is it's a new adventure.

Ruth: 23:53

I've read about Canada before. I have seen the flag and tourists around Sosua, puerto Plata. So it was exciting for me and it was because my husband got a job there and his boss wanted him to move to Canada to open a new office. I said, okay, let's go. We took our kids. They were quite small, so I think it wasn't a big difference for them because they were like under seven. So not many friends yet. Not many bonding with friends was happening yet.

Ruth: 24:31

So when we came to Canada, it was on a cold March, a cold March 5th 2016. And I will never forget how it snowed like crazy the next day. It was like God knew. I wanted to experience Canada and everything I heard from the movies, everything I saw from the movies. It's like he knew. Okay, the next day it snowed a lot. So what we did? We went outside, we played with the snow, we we jumped in the snow, we did everything in the snow because it was so new for us. So it was very exciting. As again I mentioned, is it was bittersweet. But being in canada, it was exciting because it was a new environment, new things to see, new place to explore and a new life starting a new life. Uh, because back home, being married there for over nine years, we were stable, we were in a very good place. So we didn't move because of extreme situation. We moved because of the job. But coming here, it's about starting over New house, navigating the rental system here in Canada.

Gurasis: 25:43

Of course oh my goodness.

Ruth: 25:46

So that was it. The first day was really exciting and I wouldn't change anything because that snow that day really completed my decision of moving. I'm like I'm enjoying this, so I'm looking forward to whatever is next for us here.

Gurasis: 26:02

So you mentioned that it was because of your husband's job you decided to move. But how was the process for you like like was it? Did it take you like really long to get your?

Gurasis: 26:11

I believe you came with a permanent residency, right yes, yeah so how long did you take, how long did it take you guys to get that? And also, did you guys do any sort of like a language test? For example, like we coming from india, we had to do like an ielts test right, the international english learning testing system. We have to give that test. So how was it for you like so for me not so much.

Ruth: 26:34

My husband is already an english speaker, so he didn't have to do that either. So coming here, I didn't have to do any language test. He is from my husband is from Manitoba. He speaks English, so he was there because of you know his work and also he was working in some personal project of sponsoring kids and supporting other institutions here back there in the Dominican Republic. So I didn't have to do any tests and I think that's a con on coming here because he was sponsoring me to come with him, so I didn't have to do much to come here.

Gurasis: 27:15

So he's already a Canadian, I believe.

Ruth: 27:17

Yes, he's a Canadian from Manitoba. He was living in the Dominican Republic for, I don't know, 15 years. Oh wow, from manitoba it was. He was living in the dominican republic for, I don't know, 15 years.

Gurasis: 27:32

Oh, wow, yeah, okay, so he visited that for work and then he met you and that's how you guys I caught him.

Ruth: 27:35

I made him stay. Yeah, we got married there. We had three beautiful, beautiful children. We're married there for over nine years before deciding to to start our life again here in Toronto. So Toronto is new, both for himself and for me okay.

Gurasis: 27:49

So you did say that, uh, not giving that test was a con, and you are saying that because of the experiences that you had throughout your immigrant journey, and especially in the very initial months and years, I would say, and also to the point that you could not pursue your teaching also anymore. So tell me a little bit about that time. How do you navigate that and what were some of the steps that you took that helped you find the right resources?

Ruth: 28:18

yeah. So again, everything was roses, roses. Here going to the store, finding beautiful people, very nice people who would stop for you to cross the street and even though you argue with them, they would like no, no, ma'am, please come, please pass all these beautiful roses. Then to eventually encountered the thorn. Okay, I cannot speak the language.

Ruth: 28:44

I thought I had the actual basic of say hey, hi, hello, and you know, but I couldn't go away from that simple way of speaking. And someone said to me okay, there are libraries around. You have three kids, so the best way to start is go to a library, find books. So we went there and I was teaching my son and my daughter how to read at that time, so I wanted to continue teaching them how to read. We brought books from the Dominican Republic, but we would live here now. Let's find books that they could learn how to read.

Ruth: 29:20

So when I went to that library, I found someone that helped me see doors. So doors are there, but can you see it? Who can help you see the door? The person said, okay, I went to them. I discovered they speak Spanish and the conversation started and I can tell you, dominican can speak for a while once they find peers or people who speak the language, and I think any immigrant arriving in a place where you can find your own is a blessing after feeling a bit isolated for a few months. So the person recommended me that I got my English tested and go to school.

Ruth: 30:04

So find a school, an English school, where you can find daycare, where you can improve your English speaking, because you cannot do anything. And it makes sense you cannot do much if you don't speak a language.

Ruth: 30:16

So the person recommended me to do the process, go through the process of finding my English score, go to English school. And again it was another process, because finding daycare it was another crazy process to go to. But again I wouldn't change any of it because I learned so much along the way. And I told her I want to do what you do. I want one day to support newcomers so they don't have to, you know, to go through all this craziness. And I'm, and I'm really happy I found you within I don't remember if it's between the first two, three months in Canada. I want to do the same thing you're doing and I said that to her. He said huh, if you want to do that, there are several colleges where you can go. And her name is Amparo and I will never forget Amparo. I found her not too long ago and I told her how happy I am for all her support and I told her where I am right now and she was very happy for me.

Ruth: 31:19

So, that's the process we went through After learning the language. I remember my score was between four five in the CLB, the Canadian Language Benchmark.

Gurasis: 31:31

Benchmark, okay, not enough.

Ruth: 31:33

Not enough for college, not enough, definitely so. After I improved my English language, then I decided to go to college, george Brown College, very proud student from George Brown College. In the community worker program I learned so much more about Canada and so much more about the history and its people, and that's how I started from my desire to help others.

Gurasis: 32:08

Exactly how someone helped me. Yeah, and I think it was in the George Brown only where you met one of your mentors, right, and how. Sometimes you know you know what you want, but you don't know exactly how you want it. But then some people, just like your mentors that you I would like you to talk about them they come and they come as like a, like a ray of hope, right, they're like the guiding light for you for the things. Sometimes it's like you have a lot of things in your mind, but to put things in perspective and align them, join the dots and see where the path is going to take me, I think that's where your mentors came and tell me like about that, and also the one which whom you met at Toastmasters as well, and Toastmasters has played like a major role in your life as well. Tell me, tell me all about that yeah.

Ruth: 32:49

So let's start with my mentor. I formally started studying and went through the process of I had to go back to English, academic English. I had to take that one to be able to continue with my study at George Brown. There I met a professor. Her name is Cynthia. I don't remember her last name. I've been looking for her.

Ruth: 33:11

So I remember I was going through a very long process of adapting, with my child that started going to school and again when I came to Canada, my child was three. And then a year after, after improving my English, okay, my kid is off to school, I'm going to college. However, the process was not that easy and studying here, traveling downtown and having kids not easy. Any mom can relate, anyone with family. So at some point I wanted to give up. I said to my professors okay, I need a break, I need to stop. I cannot do this anymore, because I would travel to George Brown and I would receive a call from the school. I would have to travel from George Brown and rush, rush and I wouldn't be able to submit my assignment on time, which I love. Completing my assignment, I love really complying to everything through to the dot.

Ruth: 34:13

But at that time it was almost impossible. I will never forget that Cynthia told me Ruth, you're going to graduate me, ruth, you're going to graduate.

Gurasis: 34:22

You will not give up.

Ruth: 34:23

Please do not give up Not on my watch, Please. If you need help, learn how to ask for help. Do not stop. Keep moving forward, Whatever you do keep moving forward.

Ruth: 34:37

I will never forget when she said that to me and I said but it's almost impossible for me, I had to bring my child child to class, to her classes, because I couldn't leave my child at home or at school for the situation. But she said, ruth, whatever help you need, if you need extension, learn how to ask for help. So I think that that really helped me moving forward, because that's something I think we don't use enough about asking people for help. I was struggling and I just keep my struggles to myself Struggles. Yes, I need to learn a new language. I need to study again, I need to take care of my family. I need to do all of these things, but asking for help.

Ruth: 35:20

And Cynthia said to me ask for help and I want to hear that you have graduated this program and you're successful doing what you like out there.

Ruth: 35:29

So she was my first mentor and I will never forget, and I have been using her words when you have a problem, learn how to ask for help, to move forward, not to stop and do nothing about it. Not to stop and do nothing about it. So that was my first mentorship and she followed through. She did give me countless extensions, countless support through writing essays. I realized how much I had to learn.

Gurasis: 36:01

Writing an essay in Spanish is so easy easy, I can pour my heart down, but writing an essay in english was very, very, very hard yeah, something that you haven't uh spoken like since childhood and suddenly you were asked to write something in that language.

Ruth: 36:16

It's I'm sure it's really, really hard pages and pages and that's where I learned grammarly. That supported me and that has been my best friend since then, to support me and helping me with my grammar and understanding how to best write my essays. So that was successful. I graduated the program and during that time in the program, yes, I was studying English. Yes, I was taking classes, but still I would be a little bit shy when it. I was studying English. Yes, I was taking classes, but still I would be a little bit shy when it came to openly speak English. So I went a little bit, I would say, hard on myself to learn the language because I had a heavier accent, a very heavy Spanish accent accent. So I I avoided exposing myself as much as I could until someone recommended me to go to toastmasters and before I talk about that.

Gurasis: 37:11

You said I hesitated to put myself out. What do you mean by that? Why would you want to do that?

Ruth: 37:17

uh, presentations at college, big no-no, okay. Or going to my kid's school and signing up for parent's council, for example, big no. Because anything about leadership where I had to maybe expose myself or heavy accent, and even a friend of mine made a comment oh Ruth, you really need to work on some pronunciation. And I remember the reason why she said that to me was that word. I struggled a lot with the word for focus. I would not say focus, the way I'm saying it right now, I would say focus, you know okay, which is fine, you would still understand, right that right, yeah?

Ruth: 38:03

I said oh, we need to focus on this. And my friend said okay, since I gave her permission to correct me, he said Ruth, let me help you practice the word focus, I guess it was not a problem, but I guess it was more a demand from myself to myself. So I would say I had an accent. People would ask me hey, they would confuse my accent with a lot of things. Are you French? Are you from Nigeria? Are you from where are you they?

Ruth: 38:41

would ask me a lot of things and I would say this is a Spanish accent. But I would say it was not an issue because I'm living in Toronto and I saw a lot of people having those accents. But I myself would avoid exposing myself because I wanted to do better, I wanted to learn proper way. I did everything I could like watching movies, translating them to make sure that I pronounced them properly. Again, this was me, on me, but I did see the comment hey, where is your accent from? And I found very nice people who'd ask very nicely and I would go on and explain to them. So it was not a problem. But since I was going to if I, since I decided to live in Canada, this would be my new home I wanted to make it my home by speaking the language properly.

Gurasis: 39:34

Wow, I mean, it's so inspiring, right, like coming from that side of like self-doubt and imposter syndrome, so to say. And now coming out of that pit, that imposter syndrome pit, and now you are here, ruth. I want to ask you, how proud are you of yourself by being able to really pull yourself out of all those struggles and all those ups and downs? And now you are here today, who is ready to lend a helping hand to people as well? How proud are you of yourself?

Ruth: 40:07

I would say I'm proud of myself and I will keep my promise and paying it forward because I found a lot of help along the way and also, really we don't have to be that hard on ourselves.

Gurasis: 40:22

Yeah.

Ruth: 40:23

And I wished I heard that back seven years ago, because my accent tells a story and I would have loved to own that, to show my true self with accent and all just me being me. So, yes, to answer your question, I'm proud of myself and I would say I will keep my promise to deliver that message that you are enough. Yes, you will. If you're going to live in this country, do the best you can to. If English is not your language, it's your second language, yes, learn the language. Do the best you can to if, if, if english is not your language, it's your second language, yes, learn the language. Do the best you can to make yourself uh, heard, make yourself you know, understood.

Ruth: 41:10

However, your accent is yours. It tells a story. It's something you bring with you, something you grew up with absolutely change it, and I don't think we should go so hard as hard as was with myself to change who we are innately inside of us yeah, absolutely.

Gurasis: 41:26

And you know, on the event before you came, I think you came in the second half after lunch and before lunch I actually I spoke about my podcast and I I was telling people about my story and in that I said that, uh, you know, in like when I came to canada, you know people would pronounce my name as a jurassic or gurasses or you know all sort of like ways they would pronounce it. But then I said in that speech, and then I don't blame them, that's how they were taught to pronounce certain things, and I think it's high time that we guys should also own it, own our accents. And why to be embarrassed about it? Just own it because it is what it is and it makes life so much easier and you can actually focus on the content of the accent rather than just the way you are saying it you're right there.

Ruth: 42:14

You're so right because we're so self-conscious sometimes and there are so many beautiful people around us that we we're so self-focused on that that we don't see them out there. And I love the approaches of some people that, okay, um, you are pronouncing my name wrong.

Ruth: 42:32

Uh, okay, this is how you pronounce it, and being open to learn as well absolutely if you're open to learn, I think you, you can fit anywhere, you can belong because you bring your authentic and unique self. The other person bring their unique and authentic self and we can learn together. You know, whatever we are, whoever we are, we can learn together to approach things in different ways and learn from each other.

Gurasis: 43:00

Absolutely, and I also wanted to tell our listeners the story when the first time you went to the corner store and from that point you are now here, you know all fluent in English and teaching people, in fact, you know how to navigate their lives as an immigrant.

Ruth: 43:15

Yeah, yeah. So after that visit I decided, okay, I want to do that, I want to help others. I want to help others see themselves as whoever they are like, with their strength, with their skills. And that's why, after I went to college, after I finished that diploma, I went back because I wanted to do more. So many immigrants like myself we come to Canada. We don't know where to go for our careers. There are so many community centers around. I wanted to belong to those communities supporting others. So I took the career development practitioner to be able to give also that support in guiding people through their careers. And again, that's the teacher in me.

Ruth: 44:02

That's the teacher in me wanting to keep teaching, keep helping people, and I think I brought my experience as a handy tool as well, because I saw the process and I could see things I could change, but also messages and maybe advice I can put forward for other people to see so it can help them in their journey.

Gurasis: 44:30

Earlier we were talking about Toastmasters and we completely digressed and we got so passionate about accents. But tell our listeners how important role Toastmasters has played in your immigrant journey, and I believe you also won some competitions there, right? So tell us all about that.

Ruth: 44:47

Yes, I did, and that was a competition with a purpose. But let me take you back to how I started. When I went the first time to visit as a guest, I wanted to see what is this about, what are the meetings about? And that's when I did my research and I saw Toastmasters. Oh, they don't do toast, they actually do more than that. So when I went to visit, I was called to introduce myself. I was shaking like I live under the wind. I was shaking, just introducing myself and they said hey, tell me your name, what brought you here and why are you visiting us? Those three questions and I couldn't answer all of them. So I'm here and I would like to learn what this is about. And that's it. And I sat down and someone invited me to come on the second time.

Ruth: 45:39

I was shaking and they have something called table topics. Table topics is like impromptu speeches, where you stand up in front of everyone and you receive a question and you, on on top of your head, you just answer that question, something simple like sell me that pen, or something like that. You just have to speak. I participated in some table topics and that's how my journey started, because I started to get nervous. And someone said to me there, hey, you can get a mentor to support you on that. And I got a mentor Because I would have to write my speeches. I would need someone to check my grammar, the flow of the speech, the sequence and everything. So the person said my mentor said to me Ruth, we will practice until you don't get nervous anymore and if you get nervous.

Ruth: 46:31

You work through that nervousness and I did that. I've been doing it for the last five, almost six years Because when I got there I was so nervous and as I progress and practice, I made so many mistakes. But guess what Toastmasters is for you? To make mistakes perfectly and receive feedback so you can improve the next time.

Ruth: 46:56

So if there are 20 members, you will receive feedback for these 20 members and you can decide to use this feedback to improve your speeches. So after doing that for several years I belonged to the executive team I decided to participate in the contest. It was a challenge from myself to myself, and I spoke about imposter syndrome that you mentioned, Because during that time I was going through the process of applying for a job and I got the job at George Brown. It was a career peer coach job and I applied and I said to myself I might not get it because there are so many of my classmates that are native English speakers. I might not get it. So that was me feeling an imposter already, Like I don't belong. I just I will apply, but I might not get it. I got it and then it just it was a it. I got it, and then it was a snap, I got it. There is something in me. There is something in me that others can see. Now I need to see it for myself.

Ruth: 48:06

That's when I wrote the Imposter Syndrome. The title of my speech was An Imposter Among Us syndrome and my the title of my speech was an imposter among us. When I went through the journey of saying how, uh, when we feel we don't belong, how we feel uh, shy, we walk away from opportunities. That excites it, scares us, but makes us excited at the same time. Yeah, I just long story short. I won the competition in a club level and then I went to the area level. So there.

Ruth: 48:40

I competed with five other people. And after the area level I go to the division level, where I also compete with crazy good speakers like very good speakers and after the division level I also won first place and I moved forward to compete with the best of the best for the district contest and I moved to that part of the contest. I stayed there but I will never forget that I got there because I started believing a bit more of myself.

Ruth: 49:15

I started pushing the imposter syndrome away Because, as we mentioned before, no one is responsible for how we feel, no one is responsible for our happiness. We make it.

Gurasis: 49:27

Absolutely and.

Ruth: 49:28

I needed to overcome that and I think that was my proof. Ruth, you have something in you. You need to show it to the world. Stop hiding it and put yourself forward.

Gurasis: 49:39

Wow, that's incredible. You know I'm loving this progress that you are sharing with us and I'm sure if any of our listeners are still questioning themselves, please don't you know. Look at Ruth. She's like a clear testament to all these struggles that come your way and how you can, like all, brush it off and don't question yourself all the time and but how many since? For how many years were you associated with Toastmasters?

Ruth: 50:01

I joined Toastmasters after I completed my English, like one and a half year after being in Canada one and a half years after okay so that's when I already got my english together and I went there to actual practice english. Because, again, studying english and practicing is a whole different level and as a teacher, I consider myself an extrovert. So, um, as an extrovert, I would say um, I was missing that part because I'm not a shy person and I wanted to lose the fear of speaking just because I don't speak the language.

Gurasis: 50:39

Clearly, yeah, and this again reminds me of the thing we discussed during our previous call. You know how Sofia Vergara said. You know how smart I am in my own language just because I don't speak English and I don't know how to communicate my thoughts clearly yeah, yeah.

Ruth: 50:55

And you know what? If people judge us because of how we accent is their problem, we have so much to to offer. We like we. We should stop minding other people, and that's something I learned. She owns her accent and I don't know if she does any effort to improve it or not, but look where she is right now.

Ruth: 51:16

So I feel like owning who we are completely and fully can help us focus on all the beautiful values and strength we have to offer. So that's the message for anyone listening Just focus on all of the strength you have to offer. And once you speak, your accent is yours. No one can take it away from offer. And once you speak, your accent is yours no one can take it away from you and makes you beautiful and unique 100.

Gurasis: 51:38

I can totally back that. You said it all. So, ruth, before we get into the final segment, I just want to talk very briefly about volunteering, and I love this one line I heard you talking about. You said that volunteering is not a step down. Instead it's a stepping stone. Please expand on that. And also, where can people connect with you if they would like to connect with you?

Ruth: 52:04

of course, when I came to Canada, I learned the value of volunteering. Back home. Volunteering is just okay. Okay, you're helping, so what? And that's something you wouldn't add to a resume.

Ruth: 52:18

Coming here and learning that volunteering has values almost equal to a paid position changed my perspective in volunteering, and also it's a game changer for any immigrant to Canada, because it will help you boost your career and grow. And the reason why I'm saying that so confidently is because I work with five, 10, 15 years of experience. Some of us I would put myself there as well feel like volunteering is like a stepping down. Or I was, you know, in a very senior position back home. I want a senior position here as well. Yes, yes, you deserve that, and what you can do to start is volunteering. And what you can do to start is volunteering. Find those places.

Ruth: 53:35

Associations, joining associations help a lot, but also finding those organizations that share your value and where you can also provide support with your expertise can also give you that experience to add to your resume of the value that you're offering. So anyone coming to Canada and want to understand how volunteering works, you should start looking for organization. They even have posted volunteer with us. Click on those links and apply for volunteering in that place. Are you from marketing? Are you from the financial sector? Whatever it is, there is a place for you to volunteer and a place where you can add value but also network Very important Networking.

Ruth: 54:04

Volunteering goes hand in hand because you will be able to meet potential employers, you will be able to meet potential co-workers, but you will be able to build those contacts that will support your career in the future. So, completely agree with you, and I'm an employment counselor, a proud employment counselor helping newcomers to Canada to adapt to this country professionally. Now, and if you know people can feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. I keep quite active there as well, so please do connect with me. And again, if I were to deliver any message is that volunteering is very important if you want to transition your career to Canada, and volunteering will also go hand in hand with networking, connecting with like-minded professionals to boost your career in this country.

Gurasis: 54:59

Awesome. I think you have articulated it perfectly. You have touched some great points, and if any of our listeners would like to connect with Ruth, I'll put the links to that in the show notes. So, ruth, I have included this new segment in the second season of the podcast. It's called know your host, where I give my guests an opportunity to ask me any question they might have yeah, oh, I love this, I love this.

Ruth: 55:26

Yes, of course, I've been listening to several of your podcasts and I say I was listening to the transition to this to the second season, and my question for you is when you're going to interview someone and you and you want to learn about their story, what is the first thing you do before interviewing that that person?

Gurasis: 55:54

before I sit on a call and talk to them.

Gurasis: 55:57

But yeah, before this yeah I think it's exactly what I did with you and all my other guests. Like, I make sure that I have the introductory call, like an intro call, just to get on the same page and also to see whether our vibes match. And also I want people that who are coming on the show they have some sort of a willingness to lend a helping hand to any of our listeners. You know, I would like to do that as well, so I think that's pretty much the very first thing I do and making sure that I know what. What are the things that they are comfortable sharing on the podcast and the things they don't want to touch upon, because I want to respect their personal boundaries as well, because why not? And I want them to share the podcast with more and more people, with their community, anything that they would like to share. So that's why, all in all, the short answer is I make sure I sit with them and get on the same page before we hit that record button.

Ruth: 56:53

Yes, thank you for sharing and I love to hear that and I went through that, and the reason why I wanted to hear it out loud is for others to hear how careful you are in your approach and how you get to connect with other people behind the scenes. So there is so much that happens behind the scenes, absolutely writing, getting to know the person in a personal level a little bit more about themselves. So thank you so much for that. May I ask you one more question?

Ruth: 57:23

absolutely, please go how does the stories, uh, that you have heard impacted you as the podcast host?

Gurasis: 57:33

That's a beautiful question, because I do get that question a lot offline also, and some of my previous guests in the second season have asked me this also, but maybe in different words. I think these conversations have really made me realize one thing for sure throughout my immigrant journey that I am not alone in this. If, if I am questioning myself, I'm questioning my abilities, I'm I'm questioning my decision of coming to Canada, I'm not alone. And everything that I have gone through or even currently I'm going through within my the corporate career journey, you know it's it's not something that it's unique to me.

Gurasis: 58:15

People have gone through that and all these conversations help me really navigate those situations and also a sense of surety. It gives me that things do get better. This is just for time being. All this is really helping you build your character and eventually you'll look back and you'll say that I'm so glad that certain thing happened because that helped me and that shaped me or more I will use a better word that all carved me into the person I became today. So these conversations have really been a source of inspiration for me, because the people I'm speaking to are professionals in their career, people who have been in Canada longer than me, they have a little bit of additional ears under their belt and all that experiences, all that mistakes even they have done and I can learn from them. So I am so glad, I would say, that Universe took me, or chose me as an agent to have these conversations and put the stories out, and I hope I stick to that and I continue to do this to put out more and more stories out.

Ruth: 59:24

Beautiful. I love that line it does get better. It does get better. That's a very hopeful phrase and thank you so much for sharing good assist and I think you are, uh, doing an amazing work in the podcast and I, when I every time I listen to it, it gives me like a boost of more confidence to keep moving forward because, as you said, I am not alone in this.

Gurasis: 59:47

Thank you so much no, thank you for these questions. You know again, there are some parts of your mind you never tap on, but because of these questions it forces me to reflect upon. You know, some things that you do in your life. So thank you, thank you for this question, perfect. So now, ruth, we are in the final segment of the podcast. I call it beneath the accent because we are knowing each other beneath the accent. I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. You can answer them in one word or a sentence, or however you feel like. The idea is just to know more about Ruth. So ready, yes. So first is, what advice would you give to your younger self and at what age?

Ruth: 1:00:28

Any age below 15.

Gurasis: 1:00:30

Okay.

Ruth: 1:00:32

I would say to myself your now is not your forever you will do amazing work. Your now is not your forever I love that.

Gurasis: 1:00:44

Yeah, perfect. So describe a moment when you experienced a significant cultural difference that surprised you a lot in canada one of the culture is the coffee drinking culture.

Ruth: 1:00:58

But going to tim horton and asking for a double, double I I didn't understand and I was afraid to ask.

Gurasis: 1:01:06

I didn't want to appear um, and I'm just, I'm on the same page. You know, I was like that as well. I was like, okay, double, double.

Ruth: 1:01:17

I don't know what is that I went there and like, give me a double double. So I went there to buy some tea and other things and now someone asking double double. Until I had to ask someone what is a double double?

Ruth: 1:01:29

and then they are oh, double cough, a double-double. And then they ask oh, double coffee, double shot of milk, double shot of sugar. So that was my one of the culture shock and I was afraid to ask because I didn't want to appear dumb. But when I eventually asked, I'm like huh, that makes life easy, you don't have to give all the details, just say a double-double.

Gurasis: 1:01:48

So Great, okay, what's this one dish from?

Ruth: 1:01:58

your home country that always brings you comfort and nostalgia a dish called moto okay I grew up with that. Moto is a dish rice and beans cooked together, and the rice is very grainy and the bean is there as well, and it's very flavorful. So when I eat it I think back on my childhood and how my mom used to cook it for us. But also, if you go to any restaurant, you will find it as well, so moto is my dish that brings beautiful memories.

Gurasis: 1:02:32

What's your favorite cultural festival or celebration in Canada that you have now adopted, and how do you celebrate it?

Ruth: 1:02:39

Oh, I celebrate well, canada Day. So first July I celebrate Canada Day because there are so many events happening around and I can say that's pretty much it, because I learned so many other holidays in Canada. But I love Canada Day because it makes me look more into the Canadian history but also reminds me of how I became a Canadian and all the process I went through and I make myself celebrate like a Canadian. I go for a poutine or I make it purposefully, go and ask for a double double. So Canada Day is definitely one of the holidays I have been adopting since the last, I'd say, six years in Canada. Okay, five years yeah, so what's?

Gurasis: 1:03:29

something that you ate for the first time in Canada and did you like it Ha?

Ruth: 1:03:36

Pizza, pineapple pizza, and that's not a Canadian thing, but that was the first time I ate it.

Gurasis: 1:03:42

Okay.

Ruth: 1:03:43

It was from Pizza Nova, sorry. So I have to mention that I ordered pizza and I wanted a pizza with a and by mistake they delivered a pizza with pineapple. And I was wondering what is this? Because back home we do pizza with cheese and and and you know, many countries are being westernized but I never tried it with pineapple. So when I tried it and I asked my husband what is this? And we started with pizza and pineapple, and then that's when I realized, huh, okay, this is really good. And the second dish I'm sorry you said one dish, but it was poutine- okay, did you like it?

Ruth: 1:04:23

delicious, extra calories for energy delicious. So every time I go for a poutine I always ask, okay, give me poutine. I always ask to not put bacon, but they add all this beautiful sauce there and cheese. I love poutine, so that's another dish I have. I love from Canada okay, perfect.

Gurasis: 1:04:45

So tell us about your first friend that you made in Canada, and are you still in touch?

Ruth: 1:04:52

yes, so the first friend I made in Canada was from church. So I go to church and that person speaks Spanish and that person I remember when I was going to church I couldn't travel. It was in the middle of March, it was around my fourth week here and I just wanted, wanted online, went online and contacted that person and that person, um, sent someone to pick me up because I wasn't sure how to navigate you know, taxi and everything that no worries, I will find you a driver, and they sent someone here to drive me and took me to church and we're still in touch and that's something I really appreciate.

Ruth: 1:05:34

And talking about feeling belonging here.

Gurasis: 1:05:39

So feeling the feeling of belonging.

Ruth: 1:05:41

that person made me feel that I belong when they brought me to the community and we started sharing food, we started sharing thoughts and how to navigate Canadian culture. So she helped me a lot and I still keep being friend with her, for seven years now oh, wow awesome yeah perfect.

Gurasis: 1:06:01

So if you had to describe yourself as any creature, what would it be and why?

Ruth: 1:06:06

for any creature. Oh, I would say a lioness I don't know if that's how you say it in English a lion or lioness, and that could be a little scary. But I would say more in the kitten side, because what I would describe is bravery when I say lioness, bravery to face challenges. When I say lioness, bravery to face challenges, bravery to take care of my family, bravery to take care of my professional career, bravery to take care of myself, so I think I would describe myself as a lion, because I would still be that caring person who cares for everyone else and I would protect it. So definitely with a lioness.

Gurasis: 1:06:54

Okay, perfect. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Ruth: 1:07:03

Teletransportation. Okay, teletransportation If I think something or somewhere, a place, I'm there. That would give me the opportunity to visit many countries I want to visit and enjoy and immerse myself in other cultures and learn from them, which can be hard if you have to take an airplane and go through all the process. So definitely teletransportation to help me get that experience, definitely teletransportation to help me get that experience.

Gurasis: 1:07:35

Okay, If you could create one law that everybody has to follow what would it be?

Ruth: 1:07:46

That would sound simple, but connect with others. If there's an immigrant coming, connect with them, make them feel belonging, connect and I know as human beings, we tend to connect. We are social beings but I wanted to make it purposeful. I want to feel belongingness. I want the other person to feel belongingness as well. So connecting with the other person would be a lot. Oh, yes, oh, gurasis just made it to Canada. Okay, let me just contact Gurasis and tell him there's a community here for him and he's welcome.

Gurasis: 1:08:26

So definitely connect with others purposefully. Perfect Love that. So how?

Ruth: 1:08:34

would you describe Canada in one word or a sentence?

Gurasis: 1:08:37

Multiculturally vibrant. Okay, I think that definitely defines it. Yeah. So, ruth, now if you could leave me with one piece of advice, what would it be?

Ruth: 1:08:50

Keep up the good work. You have no idea who's listening. Yeah, you have no idea which heart is willing to listen to stories, and I think there is power in story sharing, and I said that word very purposefully. Story sharing uh, we can tell stories, but sharing our stories from within has an impact in others. It's better than any masters out there. When someone listened to what someone else went through and they can see themselves. Huh, I am not alone. I can do this differently, or I can join this club because this person is. Maybe it could work for me as well, or I can. I can do this to improve myself. So keep up the good work, because you never know what heart is in need to listen to those messages perfect, thank you.

Gurasis: 1:09:47

Thank you for saying that, thanks for your advice and, finally, how would you describe your experience of being on the podcast?

Ruth: 1:09:55

Ah, it's been fun, it's been relaxing, and I consider myself a little bit too excited person. I can be very excited to share.

Gurasis: 1:10:10

I'm the same.

Ruth: 1:10:12

Too passionate, I would say, but I think what you did previous to this recording making me understand how it will work, or getting used to the platform I think that experience made me feel a little bit more relaxed as a speaker, to just focus on, just sharing.

Ruth: 1:10:34

Every time you ask me a question and I also love that, how you made it feel like a conversation. I love the dynamic of sharing and listening also to your point of view and how it relates to your culture and how it relates to you. So I feel like you finding that commonality made me feel very comfortable. Uh, speaking about my, my story awesome, thank you.

Gurasis: 1:10:59

Thank you so much. I'm so glad to hear that and thank you for being on the podcast, um ruth, and the next time I'm meeting any dominican republic person, dominican republic I'm gonna say keloke for sure. So thank you for teaching that and thank you once again for being on the podcast and adding value to my listeners. Thank you.

Ruth: 1:11:17

Yeah, thank you, Gurasis, and thank you so much for giving me that platform to share a little bit about myself and about my journey. It was a pleasure and again, thank you so much.

Gurasis: 1:11:27

So, before we end this episode, our lovely guest ruth finally recalled what the game was called.

Ruth: 1:11:36

What was the truth? That is so funny. The game is called la perengrina, it's like that was hopscotch that's the hopscotch and it has 10 positions and you just draw it on the floor and all the kids take turn to throw a little um, a piece of rock in every spot, jump around well, if you know how to play hopscotch. So they came here. The famous game before all this technology game was la perengrina hopscotch.