My Thick Accent

From Banking Professional to Memory Keeper: Story of Legacy and Resilience | Ft. Doreen Fernandez Ep. 052

Gurasis Singh Season 2 Episode 52

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What happens when a seasoned corporate executive follows their heart's calling to preserve legacies through storytelling? Join our host, Gurasis as we unfold the fascinating journey of Doreen, the visionary behind Memory Bloom. From her roots in Bahrain and Karachi to her professional life in Canada, Doreen shares her inspiring transition from a successful financial career to a passion-driven venture, weaving personal narratives into the corporate world. This conversation highlights the power of storytelling in redefining identity and fostering personal growth.

Discover how embracing diversity and overcoming life’s obstacles can shape one's path, as Doreen recounts her challenges and triumphs in adapting to new cultures. With anecdotes of childhood memories and career shifts, we reflect on the resilience gained from navigating unfamiliar territories. Doreen offers valuable insights on how personal storytelling not only helped redefine her identity but also became a tool for impacting lives positively through mentorship and legacy building. Her journey is a testament to the unexpected opportunities that arise from embracing change.

Continuing this heartfelt exchange, we delve into the warmth of Canadian traditions and the essential themes of gratitude and resilience. As Doreen opens up about her aspirations and the values she wishes to impart to her sons, we invite you to reflect on your personal journey and the transformative power of your own stories. It's a celebration of self-discovery, collaboration, and the enduring impact of storytelling.

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Gurasis:

Hi, this is Gurasis Singh and you're listening to my Thick Accent Podcast. So storytelling is a powerful tool that transcends generations and cultures, capturing the essence of our experiences and preserving them for future generations. It allows us to connect with one another on a deeply personal level, sharing our joys, sorrows and everything in between. And in today's episode of my Tech Accent, I'm thrilled to introduce someone whose journey and mission embodies this transformative power of storytelling. Our guest today is the founder of Memory Bloom, a venture dedicated to crafting clarity and legacies through both corporate writing and personal stories.

Gurasis:

Born in Pakistan and moving to Canada at the age of eight, she has spent her life in Toronto, where she has seamlessly blended her extensive corporate experience with a passion for personal storytelling. Her professional journey is nothing short of remarkable. With over two decades of experience in Canada's leading financial institutions, including RBC, td Bank, cibc and Bank of Montreal, she has honed her skills in building strong business operations. But it was her unexpected transition from the corporate world to discovering her passion for writing that led to the creation of Memory Plum. As we delve into her formative years, her experiences growing up and how she leveraged her corporate background to build Memory Plum, we will explore her fascinating journey, her commitment to storytelling and the impactful work she's doing to help others immortalize their memories. Please welcome Doreen.

Doreen:

Thank you so much, Gurasis. It's a pleasure to be here today and I've been looking forward to you and me doing this and sharing our stories with everyone who watches your podcast. So thank you.

Gurasis:

Thank you, thank you for being here, very excited for this conversation. So, doreen, this episode is part of the season two of the podcast and I'm trying to turn up the fun factor a little bit, because why not? So I'm going to start with some fun questions, okay, okay.

Doreen:

So the first question is what's your go to breakfast? Oh wow, well, what I would like to eat and what I end up eating are two different things. You know, always keeping healthy choices in mind, but usually my healthy breakfast consists of oatmeal with some berries and, you know, peanut butter and things like that. So I mean you can make it taste good, so it's not too bad okay, and is that something you're eating like?

Doreen:

started eating like recently or from a long time no, I've been trying to do this for a while now. Sometimes when I get bored, you know I'll throw in some toast and eggs and just to keep things a little bit different. But yeah, it's been part of my routine now okay, okay, I'll share something else.

Gurasis:

So I'm actually a heavy consumer of oats. I think I eat oatmeal every day. I think it. I'm eating it from past three years almost, I think, more than three years in fact, like every day I think it. I'm eating it from past three years, almost I think more than three years in fact, like every day. I I just basically I prepared a like a full bunch, you know, uh, three, four jars together, which is like the overnight oats. I prepared them and I eat them like every day, and at some point I feel like my mother, whenever she calls me and she asked me what do you have had? I said oatmeal. She would like you have to stop eating them. You can't consume them every day.

Doreen:

If you like it, then that's good.

Gurasis:

Yeah, I've tried a bunch of different flavors now the banana ones and the berries one, and various other kinds. I love experimenting with those. Okay, so next is share a favorite song or a dialogue or a movie and tell us why it's significant to you a song or a movie.

Doreen:

Oh wow, I wasn't prepared for that. You know, my taste in movies span very like different genres, you know I like the romance movies and then I also like the viking movies. So I love period pieces, you know, like even things like Bridgeton, you know, or those kind of old English kind of movies, so it's kind of varied. A song, nothing comes to mind. You kind of caught me off guard. It depends on my mood. I would say it depends on my mood in terms of what type of music that I like.

Doreen:

But yeah, I mean, the only thing that I can think of that comes to mind is a quote that stays with me. You know, this quote is something that I read in a book and it just changed things for me and it made me realize that we have to do certain things in our lives, otherwise it'll never happen. And the quote is you cannot swim across the lake with one foot on the shore, absolutely, and I'll never forget that, and that's one of the reasons why I dove headfirst into what I'm trying to do with my business is, you know, when I was kind of going through my corporate career, I was trying to do it part time, trying to do it here and there, but it doesn't work. You can't give 100% to do things. So I decided to lift my other foot off the shore and just dive into the water and keep swimming. That's where I am right now.

Gurasis:

I love that. I love that quote. I would love to dive deeper into that, but maybe later in the podcast, for sure, sure, you mentioned dive deeper into that, but maybe later, later in the podcast, for sure, sure? Um, you mentioned like songs. I mean, you mentioned that you don't have any particular song in your mind, but do you usually listen to, just like canadian english music, so to say? Or you also listen to some pakistani, maybe.

Doreen:

No, no, no it's just it's just english music and for, and just to clear things up, I was born in bahrain. So I was born there for the first few years of my life I don't remember it all but then moved to Karachi, pakistan. That's where my grandparents lived, and I lived there for a couple of years and moved to Canada. So I kind of only resonate with Canada. This is where I spend most of my life, so I consider myself part of the fabric of Canada, for sure.

Gurasis:

Okay, and what would you say is your mother tongue then?

Doreen:

It's English.

Gurasis:

Yes.

Doreen:

Even though my family comes from a place called Goa, which is in India, our mother tongue is English, so we do speak another language too, but English is primary.

Gurasis:

Okay, so I feel like the next question wouldn't be that valid, because the question is usually I ask my guests to teach us a phrase in their mother tongue, and what does it mean?

Doreen:

you know, Unfortunately I don't speak any other language. I wish I did. I kind of grew up here as a child, so English is all I speak and because we speak English just in the home, I never got to explore other languages. I do regret not pursuing French further in high school. You know, when you go into high school in Canada you have to choose one language at least you know in grade 9 and grade 10. But I chose French but then dropped it afterwards from grade 11 onwards. But I regret that because today I wish I were bilingual. But I have started doing Duolingo. I'm trying to brush up on my French.

Gurasis:

Okay. So next is if you could teleport to any particular place, where would you go and what would you do?

Doreen:

Oh, wow. You know I've done a lot of travel in the world and I love to travel. I love beaches only because, living here in Canada, you know, it's winter for so many months of the year and it's extreme cold weather, so I love going to warm places. I love, you know, the ocean and the sandy beaches. One of the places that I loved and I would love to go back to because I just kind of connected with it and I felt it was so rich in history and warmth in the people, and that is Italy. You know I just love that part of the world, like Italy and Spain and Portugal. I would definitely go back there because it just is so beautiful and so peaceful and calm.

Gurasis:

So next I would like to you know, take you down the memory lane a little bit, tell us a little bit about your formative years and also, if you can tell briefly about your parents' immigration as well.

Doreen:

You know, I don't remember much because I came to Canada when I was very young, I think I was about nine years old. I have very few memories of being in Karachi, mainly of just going to school and coming back and being in our family home with my grandparents. Then, when my family decided to immigrate to Canada, you know, I don't remember even the journey that much. It was just starting here and you know, going to a new school and that was scary. You know, when I think back to that time I was nervous, I was scared, I didn't know where I was. All I knew was I was in a different country, away from people who I knew, and I had to start in a new school where I didn't even know what to expect.

Doreen:

You know, but the good thing for me, or the easy part for me, was the language. I didn't have to learn a different language to get around. But I guess my accent is different. So that is something that I did have to overcome. And you know it's the name of your podcast, my Big Accent. And you know what we need to wear that as a crown.

Doreen:

We need to wear our accent like this is who we are. We're different, but it's not bad. It's different but it's good. You know, and we just have to learn to listen, open our ears and listen. So, like anything else and you know, I think, everybody, no matter where, even if you were born in Canada you're going to face obstacles when you enter a situation where there's a group of different people. You know, even if you are Canadian, you are going to be looked at differently. If you sound different, if you wear your hair different, if you dress different, if you wear glasses or if you have crooked teeth, you're going to be singled out as being different, and it could be your accent or it could be the way you look in the way you know anything else. So I would tell people that don't look at it as a crutch, because you may have a different accent or you speak a different language, but so is everybody else different. So just be yourself and be happy with who you are a hundred percent.

Gurasis:

You know, I think I always say that also, that it's time we should stop feeling embarrassed about it and just own it. This is what it is, and it's so easy to really accept and just live your life that way. You know, right, exactly, yeah, so I want to go back again. You know your childhood a little bit. You know, obviously, like when you come here, if you have recollection of any like initial impressions of canada, or maybe like the first time you experienced like a significant, maybe like a cultural shift, so to say as kids we were told oh, you know, we're going to canada and it's going to be so exciting, you know.

Doreen:

And I thought oh, what is this place, canada, like? Why is it different? What is it about Canada that I'm going to like? You know, I don't have any friends there, I don't know anybody there, but the picture that was painted for me is like this is going to be an amazing life, it's going to be an amazing place to be. So you automatically think that everything is going to be easy because it's so amazing. But really it's. It's challenging. You know, like everything else in life, whether you are entering a new school or a new job for the first time, you know you get nervous and you don't know if you'll fit in. You don't know if you will do well, you don't know if you will succeed, but as don't know if you will do well, you don't know if you will succeed.

Doreen:

But as a child you don't really have a lot of those thoughts because you're just kind of doing what your parents tell you to do you know, and it's like oh, you'll be fine, Just go to school, you know, and learn your schoolwork and be the best student that you can be, and everything else is secondary. So it's always that educational part that comes first, that you have to be a great student. So that's what I remember is just being told that you have to go to school and that you cannot say no. So even if you were scared, even if you were crying, you know it's something that you just have to overcome and I think in some respects that's maybe a good thing, because in life, as you go through life, there's no certainty about anything and you learn that if you just do it, no matter what, sometimes it could be uncomfortable, sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's hard, but you will get through it.

Gurasis:

Yeah.

Doreen:

You know, and that's, I think, the biggest learning is when you look back and you think I didn't die. You know I didn't hurt so much. In fact I'm better off today because I went through all of those challenges.

Gurasis:

Absolutely. I think this is an ongoing discussion on the podcast that all these ups and downs experiences actually build that character and it prepares you on the podcast that all these ups and downs experiences actually build that character and it prepares you for the things that you will be doing in the coming years of your life. Absolutely.

Doreen:

Absolutely, and you know. And then it comes time for us to teach our children. You know, it's like, what advice do you give your children? It's like don't worry, everything will be fine. You're starting a new school, don't worry, everything will be fine, you know. But you have to go through it yourself and you have to realize, hey, wait a minute, it is fine. You know, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So a lot of the fears, you know, we kind of build up in our own mind as to what is it going to be like, but we get over it.

Gurasis:

Yeah, did you have any like a dream career when you were like younger or maybe like as a child? You wanted to become something. What did you have any recollection of that?

Doreen:

No, you know what? I never knew what I wanted to do, Never, Even when I graduated high school. You know, a lot of my friends were looking at colleges and universities and what they wanted to do. I felt lost, Like I really didn't know what I wanted to do. You know, and based on my family situation at the time when I graduated high school, I really didn't have the luxury of pursuing post-secondary education. At that time I had to get a job to support my family, you know. So, at the age of 17, I got a full time job to help, you know, my family with the bills and the mortgage and things like that, so that's. And then I just kept going from there. You know, I just ended up getting a job, an entry level job at a stockbroker and then just working my way up from there. Then you just kind of go with the flow and see what's next and then just work my way up from there.

Gurasis:

Then you just kind of go with the flow and see what's next. And did you have any go-to person at that time? Maybe at that naive age, you know, or were there like any key mentors in your life at that time?

Doreen:

No, no, I was just too young at the time. All I had was my close circle of friends, but it was mainly just my immediate family, my parents, who kind of said no, this is what you have to do and you have to follow this path. I really did not have any choice in the matter, you know. So in some respects, when I look back, I don't know how it would have been if I had a choice. I don't know where I would be today. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and maybe where I am today with memory bloom is how it was supposed to be but what would you say was during, like, that pivotal moment in your for many years, you know, let's just say like before your 20s.

Gurasis:

You know, what was that moment that really, like, basically shifted your mindset a little bit that's a tough question.

Doreen:

You know, you kind of go with the flow. You go through high school and you come out of high school and then you're like you know, what do I do?

Gurasis:

how do I? What about that job? Did that sort of change your perspective?

Doreen:

Actually it did, because working at that first job was an eye opener. You know, going from school, because my parents said you know you have to go to school and now you have to go and get a job.

Gurasis:

Yeah.

Doreen:

Being in school is very formalized, it's restrictive. You know there's a path you follow. You cannot fall off that path. Otherwise, you know there's a path you follow. You cannot fall off that path, otherwise you fail.

Doreen:

When you enter into the job world, things are different. And the one thing that was really eye opening for me is, you know, everybody kind of was different. They had different skills, they had different strengths, they had different personalities, and they were all working because the company had said okay, this is your job, this is what you have to do to be successful. And I realized then that this was a competitive environment that, in order for me to excel, in order for me to succeed, uh, moving up was what you had to do, because everybody was trying to move up and you kind of get caught up in this movement of you have to be the best employee, you have to go above and beyond, you know.

Doreen:

But it was also a fun environment because, you know, when you have co-workers that are fun to be with, you know, and at that time in that job there were a lot of young people where I worked, so it was more of hey, let's go hang out after work, let's go out for dinner, let's go out for a movie, let's go out dancing or whatever the case may be.

Doreen:

So it became a very social aspect of my life, more so than how it was at home, because at home it was more restrictive. You know, you have to go to school, you have to do your homework, you have to do your housework and that's it. You can't go out, you can't have fun. So being in that work environment was an eye opener for me, because I got to realize that, hey, there's more to life than just studying right. And then you got to know about people's travel when they went away on holidays, and that kind of opened up other doors for you too that you never ever considered like hey, I can fly to Jamaica, I could go to Europe, I can go to all these places and it's doable, right.

Gurasis:

when you see other people around you doing it, you kind of get caught up in that excitement and do it as well would you say that also helped you to evolve your sense of identity from the for many years to that up until the job?

Doreen:

like in what way? Like what? Can you give me an example?

Gurasis:

like, like you just mentioned, that within your household the dynamic was very restrictive and different. Right, you had, like, a certain path to follow, but then, to the point of outside, you are kind of assimilating into a complete different culture, right? People from all around the world are working with you. So did that anyway, influenced your worldview?

Doreen:

absolutely, absolutely. You know I realized, um, I could be more. You know, I realized that there's so much more to explore. There's places you can go, there's courses you can take. Uh, there's places you can go, there's courses you can take. There's other interests to be had. You can join a sports group after work. You know, and those are things that I started to explore is joining other groups and hanging out with different people and you grow and it's it's not until other people point out, pointed out to me and said hey, doreen, you're really good at this, or you should do this because it's really good for you. And then it started to spark my imagination and think, wow, I never thought about that before Because, coming from the background and the culture that you know we come from in the East, you pretty much do what you're told to do.

Doreen:

You're not allowed to divert from the path that your family has set for you. Their intention is you go to school and then, when you graduate, then you get married, you settle down and have children and that's the life, that's the pattern for most people out in the East. Maybe it's changing now because the world is evolving and you know as big as the world is. It's just that small as well. And also, you know, when you watch movies, your mind is open to so many different cultures and what you can and cannot do, so that kind of opens up a different world for you too. So when people started to recognize in me what I didn't even recognize in myself, that was life-changing for me as well. You know having some great managers who drew me out of my shell and said you know, Doreen, you're really good at this, you should explore this further. And I was like remember being so, so surprised that somebody thought I was good at something you know and and that kind of kept pushing me forward yeah, I think you had that experience.

Gurasis:

That's why, somehow, you have tried to do the same for the new generation right now. Yeah, you do that with your businesses, also with the other ventures that you have. Before we talk a little bit more about your career, do you have any favorite childhood memory that you'd like to revisit again?

Doreen:

Childhood memory.

Gurasis:

Yeah.

Doreen:

Honestly, I can't think of anything right now. You know it's such a blur, it's such a blur to me and I guess maybe it would just be playing with friends. You know, we lived in an apartment building and there were lots of kids who lived in that building and we would always get together and play. You know, and that's one of the fond memories you know I have as a child is just playing with all of my, the different friends in that apartment building.

Gurasis:

And do you remember the very first friend that you made, and are you still in touch? And do you remember the very first friend that you made, and are you still in?

Doreen:

touch. You know I actually I am Like one of my neighbors is someone who I've re-met here in Canada after many years. You know we reconnected and so, yes, I do have some one or two not many childhood friends who I remember, who are here close by in Canada.

Gurasis:

Okay, remember who are here close by in Canada. Okay, okay, tell me also, like what kind of food do you like to experiment or cook? Or what was it like like within the household, what kind of food you guys were cooking?

Doreen:

So when I was younger, you mean when I lived at home.

Doreen:

So it was pretty traditional. Like I know my mother would cook the you know curries and things like that that we loved eating back home because you know it kind of reminded you of where you came from. You know curries and things like that that we loved eating back home because you know it kind of reminded you of where you came from. You know our culture is very driven by food, you know, and sharing recipes and everybody's very. They get closer together when you talk about recipes and oh, how do you cook this and what do you put in your dish. So those kind of things were cooked often. But we also ate north american food, you know, like hamburgers and hot dogs and things like that. So pizza, you know, and as kids you see the commercial on tv and you're like, oh, can we have that? Can we go there and eat that?

Gurasis:

so it was a mixture of different things okay, and since you are married right now, right, is there any way you are preserving that culture a little bit right now?

Doreen:

absolutely, absolutely. And you know, being in Canada. As you know, it's very multicultural, so food is everywhere, and Indian food and Pakistani food uh, there's nothing like it in the world, right? And it's so amazing, it's so flavorful, and so this is something that everybody around us even if you're not from back home Canadians once their palate is open to this type of spice, they love it, you know. So the food is. I definitely cook it at home, my kids love it and they cook it too. So it's for Christmas and cakes and things like that. So I still try to keep those traditions alive, even though they have passed away. It kind of reminds me about them at that time of year when we get together and we do this.

Gurasis:

I love that. I absolutely love that. Now I'm going to transition towards your career choices that you have made before even starting Memory Bloom. Talk a little bit about that and your experience working with these leading organizations.

Doreen:

You know my first job, I said. You know I was 17 and I worked at a stockbroker and I worked there for 10 years. You know I am now going to date myself I shouldn't say how many years, but there's no judgment zone here, no problem.

Doreen:

I grew up there. You know I grew up with my co-workers kind of thing, because I was so young and they kind of took me under their wing because I was so young and they would always look out for me and you know and tell me, you know what I should do and you know, watch out for this and watch out for that. And then you know, when you work in an organization you never know this is something you know. That is so prevalent today is nothing is guaranteed. There's no such thing as you're set for life in an organization. You know you never know. You could work there for three years and then your role is made redundant or the company closes down or something happens. So you always have to be ready for your next move. That's one thing that I learned in my life.

Doreen:

So after my role with this organization, at the stockbroker, I ended up getting a job at RBC, royal Bank. You know I started there at the call center before the online banking even started, and worked my way up from there. You know, from there I went into a branch. I learned all about the products and services of banking. I learned to work with customers, you know, and how to spot opportunities and, you know, build relationships with customers and see how I can help them. And then from there I moved on to a head office role. So I left the branch environment and moved on. So I was with RBC for 20 years and at the end of that that was the pivotal moment for me.

Doreen:

If you asked me what was a pivotal moment in my life, it would be the end of my role with this organization after 20 years, and my role was eliminated due to some sort of business reason, and when that decision was made I was lost. I didn't see it coming. After 20 years I thought, wow, I'm really enjoying the ride here, because I did so many different things and I was always learning and growing. So I never stayed in one department for very long. You know, after two years or three years I would move on to another exciting role and because it's so big and it's global that the opportunities were endless. So I was quite happy there. You know, it was stable, I had my children, I didn't have to worry about anything. I just had to go in and do a great.

Doreen:

I didn't know what my next move was going to be. I automatically thought, wow, I need to jump back into this pool right away and find a job at another bank, because you know my skills are there in banking and it would be easy for me to transition into another bank role. And within a month I ended up being contacted by a recruiter and getting a job at TD Bank. It was a three month contract which ended up being full-time after a while and I was there for about a year or two and again that role was eliminated. So I went on to a couple of different banks and I started to do just little short contract roles with these organizations and it was great because I could take time off in between the roles and kind of explore who I was and what I wanted to do.

Doreen:

By this time, you know, my sons were grown up and they started to pursue their own interests, and that's when I realized that there's so much more to life now. You know, I have kind of done my duty as a mother. What's next for me? What's next for Doreen? Who is Doreen? What do I want to do? What would I enjoy doing? So it was a lot of self-discovery, self-searching and really thinking about what do I want to do, what do I love to do. So that was you know where what kind of shifted for me and opened up things that where I am today.

Gurasis:

You talked about your this corporate career a little bit. Tell me. Is there something, doreen, you wish you knew before getting into this, that you know now?

Doreen:

You know, there's one thing that you learn is, again, you know when we talked about when you enter school and you know there's different personalities. Different kids would kind of maybe hold you back from doing something or taunt you or call you out because you're different things like that. It's almost the same, you know, in a corporate environment. It's just that now you are grown up and you have to learn how to handle yourself. You have to learn how to manage yourself and you have to learn how to manage other people around you.

Doreen:

What I learned through my corporate career is that everything and anything is possible and you are gifted, you are talented and you deserve to be where you are. You know people cannot take away your spirit. Although sometimes you will feel like people are holding you back, that when you're trying to apply for you know the next level up position and you're denied that, never feel that you are not worthy, never feel that you have a shortcoming, never feel that you do not deserve it because you do, and when you start to believe that and when you start to live that, nothing will stop you yeah, I totally love that.

Gurasis:

You know this is again like an ongoing discussion on the podcast that we as an immigrant also sometimes we come. We are kind of bogged down by those comments or those people, all kinds of things that come your way, right. But we are here for different purposes. We are not here to really brew the negativity and give it back to them. No, we are here for ourselves and for our personal growth and within that corporate setting, sometimes you really have to ignore those and keep focusing on your own goal, right. Otherwise it really like pulls you down and you start basically start questioning your own self like am I even good enough to even be here anymore, or?

Doreen:

not Exactly exactly.

Doreen:

You know, always, always, believe in yourself and always be positive. You know sometimes it's very easy to get negative when things are not going your way or you're working on a challenging project or things are happening at home. You know, whatever you do is when you come into the work environment, always put your best foot forward. You know, dress your best, speak your best, do your best and apply yourself the best way that you can, and don't let other people get in your way. You know, stand up for yourself, believe in yourself yeah, absolutely, I can definitely back that.

Gurasis:

Uh, you also talked briefly about, you know, your layoff very initially when you worked with rbc. Tell me, since we are sort of in the season of layoffs, you know, we see that all the time on linkedin, you know people are just getting laid off here and there. What would you say? Was your that something that kept you motivated, or something that didn't make you question yourself a lot, because it's very normal to get into that imposter syndrome pit, you know very easily. So how did you pull yourself out of that?

Doreen:

You know, it was really difficult. I have to say it was really difficult because I didn't see it was nervous, I felt horrible. You know, I really did feel like I had reached the end of my rope, like what am I going to do now? You know, what got me through it are my friends and family around me. You know, they were like the cheerleaders that kept pushing me to go forward. It's like you can do this. You know, something great is going to happen.

Doreen:

And I remember meeting this gentleman at a family party. I didn't know who he was. He was a friend of someone who was hosting the party. And he said to me you know what? This is your opportunity to do whatever you want to do. He said if there was one thing that you could do, what would it be? And I couldn't answer that question because I never thought about it right, I was so focused just on working where I was and I had never had to think about it.

Doreen:

So it took some time for me to really sit down and think, like, what would I do, you know? And he says, don't hold back. Just, even if it's the craziest thought and it's the craziest notion, write it down. Nobody's going to watch what you're writing down. It's just you and that piece of paper write down anything. If money was no object, what would you do? That is what got me thinking that I stared at that blank piece of paper for hours and I thought what are we going to write, you know? And then, slowly, three things popped up on that piece of paper and, as crazy as it sounded, I took it and I ran with it and I'm making it work today.

Gurasis:

I think that would be a great segue to talk about Memory Bloom, because that's where you discovered you know Memory Bloom and you started working on it. Please, please tell our listeners about that as well.

Doreen:

So one of the things that one of the three things on my piece of paper was writing. The other two was travel and photography. I love to travel and I had a hobby in photography and I would take a lot of photos on my travel. And then, you know, somebody suggested to me. Well, the same gentleman said, you know, you should start a blog, a travel blog, and at that time I thought what's a blog? I don't even know how to set one up.

Doreen:

And then a friend of mine had helped me set up this travel blog and I started writing a lot about the places that I had visited, you know, and I realized that I love to write, that I didn't even realize how much I love to write about it. So I started to do more writing and I started to post, like little poems, little short stories, little short muses. I started to post a lot of this on on Facebook. When somebody had a lot of this on on Facebook, when somebody had had I had worked with many, many years ago at the bank, saw this and she says, hey, I see that you're doing some writing, I need to ask you a favor. And I said sure.

Doreen:

So we ended up having a conversation and she asked me to write her mother's story and that was the first book that I wrote and her name was Satya, her mother, who's passed away. I communicated with her father, who lives in Nova Scotia, and I got all this information about this beautiful woman who was no longer with us. And he was so open with me because I was a stranger and he opened up his heart and poured out his soul to me and he talked about the love that he had for his wife and how much he missed his wife and what she meant to him and what she meant to their family, and he sent me photographs of her from when she was a young girl all the way up until she had passed. He talked about their travel together, about when they first moved to Canada from India and they were the first brown family in this little small town in Nova Scotia and how she had set up her own business, you know which was quite a brave step to take, you know.

Doreen:

So I ended up writing her story and, if you wouldn't mind, I'll share it. This is what it was. It was Satya's story.

Doreen:

And in it is, you know, photographs and all about their life together, their children and I ended up writing the story, as you can see, I made it into a book and he was so happy with with this project. You know that he came to Toronto, where I live, and came to my home with this bouquet of flowers and he sat in my living room and he just cried, you know, and he said that you didn't just write my wife's story, you brought my wife back to me. And when he said those words, graz, I just had this moment of wow. This is what I want to do.

Doreen:

You know, I did not realize the impact that would have on a person and their family is to have their story told, to have their legacy moved down through the generations, through children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. Some of her grandchildren were born after she passed away, so this was a beautiful way for them to get to know their grandmother, and that's when I decided to form Memory. Bloom is to remember. Your memories are everything that you have. Nobody can take your memories away from you. That is one thing that you possess and it's just yours for you, you know, and no matter what people can take your clothes, people can take your money, your home, your car, whatever, but they cannot take your memories away, and I wanted to keep that memory alive. So Memory Bloom was formed and since then I have written a few stories for many families and I just keep going and keep growing with it yeah, you know, and I think I also read when I read this story, of course this was.

Gurasis:

This is mind-blowing in itself, you know. It just makes you. It's actually like a testimony that how powerful the stories are. You know how powerful they are and and what kind of impact it can last on people and, like you just said, you know their grandchildren are reading it, their children are reading it. It's incredible, you know, and I read that. After that, when he said that, you know, you said that these words definitely shook. You know, when he said that you have, you have actually brought my wife back to it, back into life, that's amazing. Just to hear that, you know, yes, I don't know how you would be even feeling at that moment that, oh my god, like what, what have I done? And what he's saying, saying to me tell me about that moment a little bit.

Doreen:

I had no idea, I was not prepared. I was not prepared for that moment. This was just like a project I took on because this co-worker I worked with her, like many, many years ago at the bank, and if she you know, it's funny how, how the universe works, you know how God will direct you into a certain way, because if she had not seen my post maybe it would not have happened. But it happened for a reason and one thing led to another and it just kind of kept going from there.

Gurasis:

Yeah, even like today, we are able to sit together and have this conversation is because those thoughts were connected Somehow. You saw that post, miguel's post, and we connected and it's amazing. You know how beautiful, you know how, basically, the things unfold. You know, I'm such a fan of how all this is working Me too.

Doreen:

Me too, and you know people's lives come together, you know, for a reason. And here we are today, you know, exploring different things and you know, since memory bloom, you know, and then COVID hit and COVID kind of changed things a little bit for memory bloom, because of my corporate experience, I've also added corporate writing into memory bloom services, so I work for businesses as well Anything that a business needs to have written, documented. I do some training as well. Those are all things that I did in my past life with the banks and I'm really proud of my skills and my experience and I want to keep going with it.

Doreen:

I've also added career coaching to memory bloom as well, because for a while, during COVID and after COVID, I focused a lot on helping people to get jobs, because I I went through it in my career and I know how, what you must do to put one foot in front of the other. How do you network? How do you, how do you have an amazing resume? You know what is attracted to what, what is attracting to hiring managers, how do you pass a great interview, because I've been through it for so many years. So I was coaching a lot around that as well and and it's been amazing because through LinkedIn, I've met people like you people all over the world actually it's quite

Gurasis:

exciting yeah, and you talked about coaching and I would like to read a few of the reviews with the people you have worked with for my listeners. You know I love them. I said I'd like to share that and one of the people you worked with, she said that to me, dureen was an angel, a lifesaver, an inspiration, who changed my world in the most positive way. Her voice resonate, resonated with me as a beacon of positivity, guiding, guiding my thoughts with realistic optimism. It's amazing, right, how much you've impacted that person's life. You know.

Doreen:

And this is what keeps me going right. This is what I love about what I'm doing. You know it's not a Monday to Friday, nine to five corporate environment. You know it's what I do is my own time. It's flexible, but what gives me the most joy to keep going is impacting people's lives, whether it's writing a story or helping a business owner, you know, with their whatever it is that they want to do, or helping people to find a job. You know these are important things that I like to share with people and it's to me.

Gurasis:

I find it so rewarding yeah, I'd like to read another reviews I read. I just want to highlight those because I just love them. This one person said that a few words casually shared with doreen and she has transformed that into a story and a vision. You know, the time itself is just amazing. Another person said that her story that she wrote showcased the celebration of our community. It allowed me to relive the evening through her words. And then another person said she can put the customer at ease and has this magical way to create the content for a wide and diverse range of businesses. That that is incredible, doreen.

Doreen:

Thank you for reading those out. You know, I know who those people are and I'm so grateful, you know, for people who take the time to provide these testimonies. And you know it's really important and I think we need to do more of that in our everyday lives is to thank people, even if it's a little thing. You know, whether you smile at someone or you buy someone a coffee, or you give someone advice or directions of how to get to someone somewhere. Thank you, you know, and say something nice about those people, because those nice things are so uplifting. Because life is hard, you know, we go through so many ups and downs and challenges. We need to hear those positive things.

Gurasis:

Absolutely. You know I always say that out of all the negativity that you see on social media, even this one person, in my case especially I'm not that popular yet, but if even this one person reaches out to me on LinkedIn, they take out their time and listen to the podcast and give me their feedback. I am extremely thankful to them. I'd really, really appreciate if anybody reaches out to me and, on that note, if anybody any of my listeners would like to reach out to you, doreen, you know they want to use your services. For example, just want to have a coffee chat with you because you're amazing. Tell me where they can connect with you.

Doreen:

Well, you can check my website, which is memorybloomca, or you can even find me on LinkedIn, doreen Fernandez. Connect with me on LinkedIn or through my website. I'll be happy to chat further and see what we can do together.

Gurasis:

Yeah, and to all my listeners, I'll put the links to that in the show notes. So, doreen, tell me, when you think about the legacy you want to leave behind, what do you hope people will remember most about you?

Doreen:

Oh, wow, you're asking some really good questions. You know, when I think about my legacy, I think about my sons. I have two sons and you know it's been my life's mission to be the best mom that I can be, to set them up for success. You know I want them to learn that. You know life is going to be hard, but you can get through this. You know, be the best that you can be.

Doreen:

You know, help other people along the way, do good for your family, friends and people in your community, and these are all things that I strive to do even today. You know I do a lot of work with nonprofit organizations. I volunteer my time with them to help other people, whether it's career coaching, any type of mentorship. I also mentor many newcomers who come to Canada who need some advice, and you know, and I see the fear in their face, I see the uncertainty. You know, and I always want to make people feel comfortable. That's just me, that is. My spirit is to nurture others and that's the legacy that I want to leave behind is so that my sons will know who their mother was and they will carry that forward and continue the good work.

Gurasis:

Wow, I think you're definitely on that track, and more power to you, thank you. So this next segment, doreen, is something I've added new in this season. I call it Know your Host, where I ask my guests to ask me any questions they might have.

Doreen:

Oh, so now it's my turn to ask you.

Gurasis:

Yeah, you can ask me any question you have.

Doreen:

So tell me a little bit about where you came from, Like what were your surroundings, you know? When did you come to canada? How long have you been in canada?

Gurasis:

so I came to canada in 2018, almost six years ago, okay, uh, from this northwestern part of india with the state called punjab, and the city I come from is called amritsar. It's also called guru ki nagri. It's also the place for the Golden Temple, one of the biggest Sikh pilgrimage, you know. So my upbringing was very much, I will say, like sheltered, and I'm the youngest of all my siblings I have two sisters, you know and I lived in a very loving and, you know, cheerful household, and I say that because I grew up with 15 people living together in a house. It was a joint family, so I think I never even felt the need to have any friends outside the house because I already had so many cousins of mine. And every month, there's like some or the other celebration or somebody's anniversary is there, somebody's birthday is there. It's like that kind of atmosphere basically I came from and at the same time, it was very, very like business focused. You know, I feel like my life was also sort of written, you know, like, okay, I'll finish my studies, I probably do my bachelor's in commerce and I'll join my father's business. You know, that was my idea, but you know, surprisingly, how life works. Uh, I think I finished my 12th grade somehow and uh, before that actually I did this.

Gurasis:

I was basically sent by my school to attend this one workshop in mumbai. You know, it was like a journalism workshop and that time I was a science student. But when I came, I think that that particular workshop just changed my worldview or just basically shifted something in me. I was like, oh my god, I think I'm not made for science, I'm made for something else. So, because in that particular workshop it was all about, you know, filmmaking. It was about anchoring. I also was the one of the youngest people out of the lot and I also was selected to do anchoring for a national television channel at that point.

Gurasis:

So I mean, imagine, like you were just 15, you were in a room where there's a chroma, behind you, there's a producer, there's a director, and it kind of boosted the ego of like a 15 year old, right. So I think that really shifted something in me. And then, eventually I decided to take my own path. I got into bachelor's in journalism and mass communication and from there, you know, eventually I wanted to. I never honestly had this thought of coming abroad, never had this thought of moving abroad. But you know, destiny brought me here, and here I am, six years later, finished my bachelor's, finished my program in media strategies and advertising, then end up working in pharmaceutical advertising and along with that, I'm doing this podcast today.

Doreen:

Fantastic. So so somehow you found this new path and you realize that you love it and you want to keep going. You know you're you're an amazing host and I can see that you love to do this. So what? What is next for you? Where do you want to go next?

Gurasis:

You know I remember having this brief discussion with you earlier also that you want to go next. You know, uh, I remember having this brief discussion with you earlier also that I want to make this podcast like a go-to resource for people. You know, any immigrants who are coming to canada. This will be like a go-to platform for them. Uh, definitely, I want to make it more professional. I want to get a studio, for sure at some point. I also I'm such a I have so many ideas in terms of how I can really drive these conversations, because it's not limited to bringing out those stories. That is so much beyond that also that I can leverage and actually showcase out to the world. You know, and I would love to maybe one day host another talk show. You know, where I can invite people just like yourself and have like a fun conversation, have those games and just entertain people. You know, I would love to do that also at some point in my life. So, yeah, excellent.

Doreen:

Well, I think you're pretty much on your way there, you know, and sometimes some things will happen in our lives to change that direction. You know, and I think right now, based on our conversation the other day, you are also at a crossroads where and I think it's pushing you to say, ok, grass is come here, come here. This is where you should be, and I think it's going to happen, it's already happening for you. So I'm happy about that.

Doreen:

You know, you just got to keep going and I think, also, meeting the right people who can help you, who can take you by the hand and say come with me, I'm going to help get you there, that is going to be life changing for you as well, because that's one thing that I've learned is you can't do a lot alone. You can, but it's harder and it takes you longer. But if you can meet with someone or collaborate someone with someone to say I can help you, it just kind of two minds work better than one and you go faster and you go further, absolutely. So that's my hope for you, you know, and if my question to you is, how can I help you?

Gurasis:

you know. I just want to add to that what you just said. You know, when I came to canada, I definitely learned to be independent, but at the same time, I think I also learned, like you just said. I same time, I think I also learned, like you just said, I can't do things alone. I also learned that being codependent it's very underrated. You know, it's so important to really leverage the other people's resources who are kind of like further ahead in their journeys, or something you cannot do, like, for example, something I read on your website or something that you do. You said that those businesses are best at doing businesses, not creating those programs which you help create, those programs, right? So that is definitely something. At any point, if I am ready to expand my podcast, do something else, I think you'll definitely be my go-to person. You know, if anything I have in my mind, yeah, That'd be fantastic, that really would be be okay.

Gurasis:

Thank you so much for the questions. I love them so, but now I think it's your turn. I'm going to get into the final segment of the podcast I call it beneath the accent but I'm going to ask a couple of questions. You can answer them in one word or a sentence or howsoever you feel like. The idea is just to know a little bit more about you. So what advice would you give to your younger self, and at what age?

Doreen:

oh, is not be afraid. You know, not be afraid. Just kind of embrace whatever is happening around you and know that you can conquer it and you can get through it.

Gurasis:

Okay, I love that. What's your go-to comfort food?

Doreen:

You know, again, it depends on my mood. Usually it's Indian food, because you know I grew up with it and I love it. Or I should say Pakistani food, which is kind of similar in some ways, but then I also like, you know, pizza. So yeah, who doesn't?

Gurasis:

you know who doesn't right? Do you have any hidden talents?

Doreen:

oh, I don't know how much is hidden. You know, uh, when I was younger, I was taking piano lessons, you know, and I went up until, I think, grade four, grade five, but then I had to stop, uh, due to, you know, situations, situations that my life at the time, and then I never went back to it, but you know, I kind of do. That's one of my regrets is not following through with that, but there's that. And then, just, I do like to cook as well. So I'm not a great cook, but I do like to cook and experiment and try different things. But I do like to cook and experiment and try different things. And you know my writing. You know I am always inspired by people's stories and you know this is what drives me to do more of the legacy writing in people. It's something that I never even knew I had, you know, but I just try my best and put my heart and soul into it and it just just, it feels so good when I have the story done for someone yeah, what about chocolate?

Gurasis:

you don't like baking?

Doreen:

oh my gosh you hit my weak spot. Chocolate is everything to me. I love chocolate.

Gurasis:

Yes, yes, yes, chocolate comes first, okay um any best piece of advice that someone ever gave you you know people are always giving me advice.

Doreen:

Oh, that's another good point to note is, sometimes you know when you're when you're looking for advice, and if you ask 10 different people the question, you will get 10 different answers. What I have recently learned is you know, take the advice, listen to what people have to say to you, but only pick the right things that suit you. Don't do everything that everybody's telling you, because it's going to drive you crazy and it's going to overwhelm you. So listen to what they have to say and just pick one or two things that really make sense to you. And that's the piece of advice that somebody gave me recently, as recent as just a couple of months ago the best piece of advice is listen, but do what feels right for you.

Gurasis:

Yeah, okay, if you could describe yourself as any creature, what would it be?

Doreen:

oh, any creature I would have to say I love horses and dolphins. For some reason, I don't know, I'm just in love with those two animals and um yeah that's how I would describe myself is having that kind of a spirit okay, so who's your go-to person now?

Doreen:

you know, I have a really good network of people who some of them are. I've met through LinkedIn, um, uh, some very close friends and family. So they are who I go to for you know, if it's business advice, uh, somebody who is it? You know I'm. I go to people who are level-headed, you know, because sometimes I want to do everything and I want to do it really fast and I'm not patient. I'm really impatient and I want to get things done and, uh, I'm really bad with technology. Technology does not work with me. So I always go to people who calm me, people who are, very, have a very steady sense of, you know, being.

Gurasis:

Those are the people who I go to for help okay, is this something you recently bought and you now regret?

Doreen:

no-transcript travel so like free tickets.

Gurasis:

Free tickets, yes, okay. What's that one Canadian tradition that you have adopted wholeheartedly and something that you have introduced to Canadians?

Doreen:

The one thing that I can say that I've adopted from Canada is Thanksgiving.

Doreen:

You know it's become an annual tradition now where we get together with family and you know you cook the turkey and you have all the trimmings, and it's more about really using that day to be thankful for everything in your life your health, your loved ones.

Doreen:

You know, and I love you know, we've had this family tradition where we rent cottages up on Rice Lake, you know, which is close by, not too far from where I live, and we've been doing this. We've been renting these cottages for the past, maybe over 20 years, even 25 years, yeah, and we go there every Thanksgiving for that long weekend and we take up the turkey and we spend time with each other, we roast marshmallows out on the fire pit, we sing songs, we tell stories, we just talk, we talk, and this has become so meaningful and we all look forward to it every year and we take time to really give thanks for everything great in our lives and that's something that I love to pass on to other people as well is always take time to be thankful, because no matter how hard life can seem sometimes, there's always something to be grateful for a hundred percent.

Gurasis:

Yeah, absolutely, I love that. Um, do you have any favorite canadian slang or a phrase?

Doreen:

oh, you know what? I know we say the word a a lot. Can you use it in a sentence? It's like how was your day? So? Yeah, I mean there's. You know you get caught up in these buzzwords too. You know like buzzwords are used all the time. Like you know, optimize and I'm trying to think of words right now, with it not coming to me, but you know it becomes part of your language, doesn't it?

Gurasis:

Yeah, it does. Okay, if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Doreen:

Superpower, oh my gosh, like staying on a diet. Stay on a diet and exercise. That would be the superpower that I would want to have.

Gurasis:

Okay, if you could create this one law that everybody has to follow, what would it be?

Doreen:

You know, just to accept people. You know, accept people for who they are and really help people Seriously. You know, I talk a lot about this on LinkedIn and my post is to support people, help people. If you see someone who's struggling, you know, go up to them and say how can I help you? You know, I always ask that question of people that I meet is how can I help you? Because I am so grateful for people who have helped me and I wouldn't be where I am today if people didn't reach out to me and say, doreen, how can I help you with this?

Doreen:

You know, because when you're starting a business, when you're running a business, there's a lot at play. You know how to set up your business. You know your logo, your brand, your you know everything that you need to do to get your business and be recognized and raise your awareness. It's not just you alone, there's just so many people who rally around you to help you. So those are the people who you know I'm grateful for in my life is, you know, help other people, give back, give back and carry forward what other people have done for you.

Gurasis:

Yeah, okay. How would you describe Canada in one word or sentence?

Doreen:

Oh, you know, Canada is gosh, it's just so many things. You know, the one word that came to mind right off the bat is beautiful. You know that's the way, and I would describe it beautiful in terms of not just the landscape. You know the geography of it, the beautiful lakes and the mountains, and you know it's just so beautiful. But it's also beautiful for the multiculturalism. You know, like, I know it's not always rosy, it's not always. You know what's the word Milk and honey. The land of milk and honey is what people always use. But we have to make it that way. You know we have to make it that way. So I always encourage, like, if I come across a newcomer who's coming to Canada, it's like you know what give of yourself to make it better. Don't expect things to be done for you, don't expect things to be handed to you, because we all went through that and you got to give just as much as you receive.

Gurasis:

Absolutely Well. I think you've articulated it perfectly. I love that. So, finally, if you could leave me, Doreen, with one piece of advice, what would it be?

Doreen:

You know, I would say don't stop, just keep going honestly, because the minute you stop, then you fail. So don't stop, just keep going, even though sometimes you will reach crossroads in your life, it's okay, it's part of living right? Take a break, take a breather. Sometimes we need to take a breather and maybe that's something that we don't do very often is you have to stop, you have to take a breath. Look around you and see the good things around you, see the good people around you, and I always say, when you give and when you help other people, you automatically get lifted up yourself. So those are two things that I would say to you instead of one. You know, keep going and keep giving.

Gurasis:

Thank you, thank you for that and, finally, how would you describe your experience of being on the podcast today?

Doreen:

Oh, you know what it was really refreshing it was. I love your questions. We had not rehearsed any of this. I didn't know what questions you were going to ask me, but you know, you got me thinking and even going back into my memory, which, you know, you don't tend to think about these things every day, but you really made me go back and think about things and I think there's a lot of self-realization that comes along with digging back into your memory as well, because you're reminded of where you came from and all of the things that you have overcome. I recently did a post on LinkedIn. It's called I Am Remarkable, Remarkable yes.

Doreen:

Because I attended a workshop by this gentleman and whose name escapes me right now and I feel really bad about that, but it's Iamremarkableorg and he reminded me, and others on the workshop as well, that you have to know why you are remarkable and really appreciate your skills, your strengths and even the challenges that you've overcome, because we tend to dismiss them. We tend to say, okay, I've got to get through this, get over this hurdle, and then I'll be fine. But that process of getting over that hurdle is what makes you remarkable. But that process of getting over that hurdle is what makes you remarkable. You know, and it gave me a real good appreciation to listen to other people's stories. You know, some of them are really hard. You know, like, if you think you're having a bad time, believe me, other people yourself about that.

Gurasis:

Life is about, just you know, living and accepting and being. I love that. Life is about living and accepting and being. On that note, thank you so much, Doreen, for being on the podcast and adding value to me and to my listeners. Thank you.

Doreen:

It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for your time, grazis, and I hope, if you know whoever's watching this podcast finds inspiration, finds hope and you know, know that there's help and you're not alone Absolutely Love that, thank you. Thank you so much.

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